Why didn't Sauron wear the ring on his cock instead? He's literally armored everywhere but his hands

Why didn't Sauron wear the ring on his cock instead? He's literally armored everywhere but his hands.

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Hubris

Is Sauron white or black?

who the fuck is Hugh Briss? i'm not reading the silmarillion just to understand this shit

Dick too big

In the book they took the ring off his dead body

I was scared shitless first time I seen this when I was 12

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Actually my least favorite part of Fellowship. I know it's actually straight from the book, but it makes no sense that we can see how the ring would corrupt her and no one else, and it doesn't help that it's never really clear what exactly the ring can do. In the movie it's basically just go invisible and hit lots of people at once.

>chops your dick

>puts ring on hard cock
>falls off when flaccid
or
>puts ring on flaccid cock
>breaks dick in half when it gets hard

you didn't think this through, user

actually actually actually

>put ring on while flaccid
>maintain half mast for the rest of eternity
ez

wow, he truly was the lord of the rings

The ring resizes itself. And why wouldn't Sauron be rock hard all the time?

this was too funny for Any Forums

He's an ancient being similar to a minor deity or angel

So he's black then

There are no maidens to plow in mordor. So no use of a cock ring

>maidens
>cock ring

yes, many straight men wear cock rings, that's not at all the faggiest jewelry option

Frodo should have wearer the cock ring. Snug and tight little cock ring over his smooth little hobbit penis. If sauron or sauronman tried to touch it every one would thing they were gay fags and basically pedophiles.

Because the viewers need to see the ring