Wonka shows the children a room full of candy, says they can eat anything...

>Wonka shows the children a room full of candy, says they can eat anything, and then acts like Augustus is at fault for falling into the chocolate river
>Wonka shows an 8-year-old boy a teleporter & shrink-ray and punishes him for using it even though he was fine with the results
>Veruca, the worst and most bratty child of all, is the least punished, only getting a bit dirty in the garbage
>Charlie gets away scott free with drinking the Fizzy Lifting Drink because he returned the gobstopper even though none of the other children were even given that chance
This movie is bullshit

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things are rarely fair or proportionate

ok but how did slugworth know where each golden ticket would be found at the exact moment it was found?

The game was rigged from the start

Charlie shitty uncle led him on to drink the fizzy lifting drinks.

Properly brought up children would be capable of exercising self-restraint. I don't know what anarchist commune spawned you, but I'm eternally grateful I don't have your upbringing.

I also heard Wonka forgave Charlie's student loan debt

Charlie represents the archetypal Anglo male, it's an unapologetically pro-anglo story; the 8 year old American little shit is a classic example of wigger trailer trash, whereas Veruca is a spoilt "California girl" whore. The fat kid is a greedy little Deustch degen. It all makes sense when you think about it.

Also remember Tim Burton has a Victorian Anglo fetish

>Properly brought up children would be capable of exercising self-restraint
There's a difference between "have self-restraint" and "don't play with the toys show in front of you"

It wasn't Slugworth, it was Mr. Wilkinson who worked for Wonka. He was tracking the tickets, that's why they knew the South American winner was a phony.

>NOOOO YOU CAN'T CHEW GUM
>BECAUSE...
>WELL-
>YOU JUST CAN'T, OKAY!?!?

so what was the deal with the oompa loompas? was it a fib by wonka so he doesnt reveal that there just underpaid illegals?

Tbf sticking an unproven piece of food in your mouth is pretty stupid

>Oh that's just the gum that makes you FUCKING EXPLODE
>I made it because I got bored and wanted to kill some of my midget slaves in a novel way
>Why yes, I'm in the right and the poisoned child is in the wrong.

Wonka is a psycho this is generally accepted as cannon.

All the children were fine. They went home with their fat little faces full and the adventure of a lifetime. The purpose was to weed out those who couldn't control themselves, those whose souls weren't pure. "If you're not greedy, you will go far." They were warned. None of them were GOOD ENOUGH. Even Charlie came close to failure. Charlie did not "get away scott free". He got the tongue lashing of a lifetime- and showed that his soul was pure by returning the gobstopper- which (to his mind) would have OBLITERATED Wonka and his factory had he given it to Slugworth, even though the devil on his shoulder was telling him Wonka deserved it for reneging. Charlie proved he is a cut above most. "So shines a good deed in a weary world".

You're not memeing. You're truly a disgusting, culturally stillborn zoomer who does not understand the depth and meaning of the works he consumes. I don't care if you say you're "genx" or "millennial"-- zoomer is a state of mind. Your stunted, infantile brain gets only tiny sparks of dopamine from these pathetic, resentful threads you post all day. You are incapable of genuinely living.

>and showed that his soul was pure by returning the gobstopper
But none of the other children were given this opportunity. Augustus never even got a gobstopper, and none of other kids were around to return theirs except Charlie.

veruca got incinerated.

ironic, because the actual treatment for verucas is to freeze them off with dry ice.

>if you're not greedy, you will go far
Kek

>Augustus never even got a gobstopper
Then the fat dumb shit shouldn't have fallen into the chocolate river. "Sorry, not sorry" for gluttonous little cunts. Not sorry for shrieking, pants-wetting zoomers like you either. You aren't guaranteed a free pass through life.

The 8 year old boy grew up to have reoccurring cancer from the teleporter and shrink ray and used the knowledge he gained from the Wonka factory to create elaborate traps that murder people and he called himself Jigsaw, and OP is one of those contrarian douchewhips that doesn’t understand laws so he makes those “What are the charges officer?” threads everyday with a picture of Jigsaw.

Why even pretend it was about which child had a pure soul if it was just left to Wonka's arbitrary whims?

Because life isn't fucking easy or fair. It has trials, and many do not pass.

Jesus, you TRULY are a cultureless zoomer. It's not a meme. You GENUINELY do not understand that there is inherent meaning layered into the work you just watched. Like, you seriously don't get it? You think it was just a movie about a crazy man giving kid candy. Fucking hell. You're really not just "trolling", huh. People like you actually exist. God damn, every single day of living must be suffering for you.

But what the hell were the trials supposed to be? If it was supposed to be "don't fuck with anything in the factory" then Charlie failed too, yet he was the only one given a second chance. And if that's the case, what was Mike's lesson supposed to be?

>don't play with the toys show in front of you
This is self-restraint, dummy.
"UHHH I HAVE SELF-RESTRAINT!! WTF ITS UNFAIR OF YOU TO SAY I DON'T - THERE WERE 5 CHOCOLATE CAKES RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME HOW COULD I NOT EAT THEM?"

>This is self-restraint, dummy.
But picture this: You're going through a magical factory, and you're being shown a teleporting shrink-ray. You know that this is the only chance you'll ever have to visit this factory, and probably the only chance you'll ever have to play with this teleporting shrink-ray. Are you honestly telling me you wouldn't use it as a 9-year-old?

His lesson was "little shits should paw through books (like the ones I happen to write) instead of watching TV" Dahl genuinely hated children and would rather they sit dully and quietly in a corner with their eyes cast towards the floor and their hands neatly folded in their lap, anything less and he imagined elaborate tortures like chokeys, being eaten by witches, drowning in chocolate, etc

Having self control, and parentage that didn't raise you to be an impulsive monster. Even Charlie skirted the line: Uncle Joe is shown to be a bad influence on him. Joe meant well at times, but he was a cynic, an adult's adult, and it's repeatedly shown THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE YOU FAILED TO UNDERSTAND AS YOU WATCHED that he tried to force pragmatism and instant gratification on Charlie instead of nurturing his eternal soul.

You seriously are just... disturbing. You didn't get any of this. You just watched the movie and saw funny man in purple hat giving kids candy, and fume that it isn't fair. I don't know what happens to make children turn out the way you did. Fucking hell, man. How?