Times you acted like George Costanza

Based Retarded Millennial

I have a smorgasbord of snacks at the ready next to my bed. I usually have crumbs all over my shirt just like in the OP.

How do people make it through a whole day as an office drone without wanting to nap

Attached: George-Costanza-Napped-on-the-Job.png (632x464, 77.8K)

By not being an energylet

I pretend to be an architect to pick up girls

based

This. I was 12 and I was beating the meat to Britney Spear's Baby One More Time video clip at the living room.

Also I lied in literally every job interview I had. I even sold the recruiters the idea I was hot shit on technologies I've never used. I pretend I'm really busy but I do jack shit all day, to the point I automated some shit to make it look like I'm working while I take a nap.

I'm 34, work a boring office job (when i'm not wfh) and I don't drink coffee. I play games till midnight and I wake up at 730 in the morning. I gotta get 3 kids ready for school. I do not drink coffee.

Everyone thinks I'm insane. That being said I frequently desire naps and when I wfh I take good 20 minute naps whenever I can.

when i sniffed my lesbian housemate's worn panties

I had sex with like 35 women in 5 years

I eat garbage

For a 3 month period when I worked from home I would actively work not to work. Spend hours a day on my phone or playing video games, but because I’m a prepared guy I would finish my work for the day early so I could do whatever I wanted the rest. However to make it seem like I was working all day, I would make sure to open and save documents right before I emailed them to make it seem like I finished them right before emailing them instead of 4 hours before.

Recently my mom started working on fixing our router because it started giving issues, and in doing so she looked at the history and found out the type of porn I watch. I overheard her telling her friend on the phone about it and repeating the type of porn over and over, because it’s basically the only porn I watch. I have never told her I heard it and I just have to live with the knowledge that she knows.

In school I got out of a detention for taking another kid’s juice because I lied to the teacher and told her she had forgotten to give me one when she actually hadn’t, she had asked me hours earlier and I said I didn’t want one.

In school I found an eraser lodged in my hair and my friends started laughing. Apparently my buddy had thrown it at the teacher, but I was walking to the bathroom and had to pass by the front of the class, and when I walked by the teacher my hair intercepted it and I had no idea for like an hour. They were waiting for me to find it.

I am a NEET

People think you’re insane because you remark about not drinking coffee twice in the same breath and play videogames till 12am even though you have 3 children to take care of