/qa/ thread

>You WILL make donuts out of flour tortillas!
>You WILL buy staple products out of machinery advertising
>You WILL have coffee with maple grove!
>You WILL replace tire wheels with steel infracture!
>You WILL self substitute banana beans
>You WILL drink milk out of the shower head!
>You WILL have sex with floral arrangements!
>You WILL sell blue markers for adversary wickedness
>You WILL take your ass to the smoke shop
>You WILL have 3 screwdrivers with balls on the top
>You WILL have a car without the stop engine
>You WILL pay your deeds to the local crab shack man!
>You WILL eat tree trunks at the end of the day!
>You WILL sleep with the angels that help you pee!
>You WILL fry your hair in the oven pit!
>You WILL get better by making saturn necklaces!
>You WILL have little goblin daughters that make you inane!
>You WILL cough up califlower to make red dress salad
>You WILL replace your caliber bullets with cotton candy
>You WILL compare and contrast subtle paint strokes!
>YOU WILL LIVE IN THE 21ST HEADLESS INCESTOUS SOCIETY
>YOU WILL FORGET ALL ABOUT YOUR PAST LIFE
>YOU WILL REITERATE THE LOST TALE OF THE VENT BITCH MACHINE
>YOU WILL BE FORCED FED PILLS FROM GODS FAVORITE DEALER
>YOU WILL SUBMIT TO THE POLITICAL POWER AND YOU WILL BE THE RESULT OF THE FEEDBACK LOOPS
>YOU WILL BE BRED FOR THE NEXT UPCOMING HUMP OF THE EVOLUTIONARY PHASE
>YOU WILL EJACULATE TO THE THOUGHT OF YOUR OWN EXECUTION
>YOU WILL LISTEN TO THE TUNES OF THE DEAD MANS INNOCENCE
>YOU WILL BE PUT IN RED CHAINS AND YOU WILL BE FORCED TO WALK TOWARDS THE EDGE OF THE EARTH
>YOU WILL BE SCALPED, PLUNGED AND SEVERELY CONTAMINATED AND YOU WILL ENJOY IT
>YOU WILL HAVE ARTIFICIAL MADE TEARS READY AT YOUR EXPENSE
>AND YOU WILL BE CONSCIOUS OF YOUR HUMAN EXISTINCE AND YOU WILL NOT SAY A WORD ABOUT IT!

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Confession:
I get half-chubs when my young (female) cousins curl up on me when I read them a book or watch a movie with them.
It's not a sexual erection, but one of minor pride and a vague sense of paternity. Have any older anons ever felt this with their own children?

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you are all mentally ill

Hi my name is soijack!
They also call me Pete!
I walked the earth from dusk till dawn since stars have been discreet!
I've seen the wars and parades
I've seen the power sway
I've seen just about everything except for the god of the charade
Now I come to you to say
To take my hand and play
Follow me beyond the ballad cauldron masquerade!
Would you just say?
That Life is just a place?
Before the heaven stores and rinses it all away?
I would not say that so
Because life is just a dream
That follows us in void of all eternity
Now take my hand and go
Go in front of me
I'll stand back and analysis from the back scene
*Fast forward in time*
*Sheeeeeee*
*Sheeeeeee*
Well well well
Look who we have here!
A well mannered man abiding by the ones he holds dear!
Do you need a treat?
For your sacrificial meat?
How about a robot that stands by your every feet?
Answering every question that you have or that you need
Protecting you from predators and sending them to flee
Comforting you in times of hardship and making you a wreath
Loving you, protecting you from the world that makes you seethe!
Even far as making out with your tinder feet
Oh no don't think I'm pretending i'm not!
I'm only cleansing away struggle!
Dystopian?! Rascal! That name has no meaning
Only for the unwise has ever said such ludicrous!
Don't ever say that again
*Poof* *contention* *struggle*
*Groan* *whap* *detention*
Good goy robot!
I'm not the robot your the robot!
*Buzzing* *whap* *groan* *foaming*
Good goy robot!
Good goy robot!!
*Malfunction*
Good goy robot!!!
Good goy robot!!!!
Goodie goyie robotie!!!!!
Say my name!!!!!
*bones crackling, *flesh neutering*
*Whispering*
good goy robot. Now that I have your skin. You will be the first in line for my new experiment. Good by silly man!
FIN

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explain the fruitjaks to me

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We got here in November of 2021 and we won't leave

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nuCob gemmy

>SEWAGE TREATMENT PLANTS AREN'T USED AS A SMOKESCREEN FOR THE POOP JEWS TO COLLECT DNA FROM YOUR FECES TAKE YOUR MEDS SCHIZO

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kys jakshitter

kys mass replier

Well, I was walking to the store to get a gram fifty
When I spotted some hobo his name was Bam Gibby
He was drudging up some coal on the side of hells mountain
I said "hey Bam Gibby, do you want some help with that gibby?"
He looked at me funny and I just walked away
While the face of Bam Gibby was just slaving the paste
I walked to the store and checked out my gram fifty
While the cashier said "do you want a bag for the gibby?"
I looked at her funny and just walked away
While the face of the cashier was just taken away
"Why do I need a bag for that stupid fuck Gibby?" "When all of gram fifties cost a gram fifty?"
I walked on the sidewalk and past by Bam Gibby
He was chained up with locks and bound by the gripies.
I offered him a fifty but he was too pissy
So I shoved my fifty up his ass cheekies
I said "this is what you get for looking at me funny!" So I killed him menacaly while he lied died screaming
I walked away satisfied In dripping soaked blood
Knocked off my shoes and got in the tub
But someone else was there before I got kinky
It was the cashier! And she looked pissy!
She stabbed me in the heart and I lied died screaming
She said "this is what you get for looking at me funny!"
And she pissed on my clothes and cut off my pee pee!
Moral of the story is don't look at someone funny
Because they may kill you and cut off your pee pee!
FIN

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>It's ti-ACK

Breathe, let go. Breathe, let go.

All erections are sexual, user. That's what an erection is.