The Hyperion Cantos

How the hell do they plan to adapt this into a single movie?

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black actors OP

By butchering and rewriting half of it and then omitting/swapping around the pilgrim's stories completely fucking up the dynamic of the story. Have you never seen an "adaptation" before?

only the priest story is worth adapting

I’ve written it off already to be completely desu.

>not the Consul's story
Plebian take

>not the detective's story
lmaoing at your life

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Always came off to me as an anthology or miniseries kind of adaption. Movie makes no sense

Dan Simmons is a disgusting pedophile and this garbage series got worse with every book.

That one probably works the best as a standalone story but the Consul's tale is the most impactful because it ties everything together

This isn't the first time I've heard of someone calling dan simmons a pedophile. Could you give me a quick rundown?

Based.
Functional human being.
Absolute mouth breather and possible Hollywood Exec.

i only read this once a while ago but no way in hell, even the first novel would be hard to adapt

Priest's Tale > Consul's Tale > Jew's Tale > Soldier's Tale > Poet's Tale > Detective's Tale

poorly
this too

>not wanting to get raped by a woman/spiky time monster

what are you gay?

I could not understand the book

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I don't know about outside Hyperion, but they're probably referring to how multiple characters end up having sex with the children of other characters

The sequels are so fucking shit, its baffling

I'm going to vomit.

Of all the things they could adapt perfectly into a series...

It is a pretty simple book desu. Maybe the complexity rises as the shit rises with the next three.

The priest's story is an absolute banger of an opener that leaves you with a lot of questions, which is probably how Hyperion should have ended instead.

consul > priest > soldier = poet > detective > jew

Most overrated trash I've ever read. Everyone who promotes this trite vomit should be fired into the sun.

But for real, what the F*CK is Simmons issue? Is he a fag for him?

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The first book isn't actively bad, unlike many other promoted authors. I'd say it's good solely for the fact that it presents a world that leads a reader that's not too familiar with SF to imagine science fantasy worlds for themselves better than any other book. Simmons accidentally hit the perfect parameters on what to include, leave vague, etc., so it doesn't become fantasy so hard it's boring or anime style technobabble nonsense with only an illusion of depth.