/mtg/ - Midget Torture General

ITT we discuss all the many ways we would torture midgets like beloved actor Warwick Davis.

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I'd just stick him in a mini-fridge and put it door side down. I would not waste a lot of time doing what needs doing. He is beneath me.

corn syrup enema

you're not funny or original. You're boring at best

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>you're not funny or original. You're boring at best

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>midget hands typed this

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kidnap every midget in the world, and replace them with child actors

I like the pasta with the stuff like "bodyslam him until he's sick" and the "shove things up his butt"

Kek

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Finally a good thread.

I would tie Warwick down to a chair, then I would put several rubber bands around his ankles to cut off the blood supply to them. After a few days they will start to decompose and then I would stick them into a bucket of maggots so they would eat away his little baby feet.

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Stop bullying Warwick! I'm warning you!

Brian Peppers is back, baby.

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Me? I'd go for a cattle prod and a shitload of pissed off cows. Stick him in the pen with them all riled up and start shocking indiscriminately so the herd runs away, and the little midge has to dodge being trampled back and forth and if he doesn't hide in the herd we shock his ass until he does.

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To: From: Anonymous poster

This is absolutely disgusting. Shame on all of you. If Warwick Davis knew what you were saying about him his first call would doubtless be to the Police, and his second to my solicitor.

Yours,

Anonymous poster

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I’d Chuck him in a greased up bathtub with a runaway belt sander

FUCKING MIDGE I could end his life for him. I'm imagining dripping him in egg, coating him in breadcrumbs against his will while he squeaks "hey stop it" and once he's all coated with no air to spare and about to lose consciousness I throw him in the deepfryer and listen to the crackling as flesh separates from bone and becomes crispy, and his meat bubbles. I cut open the breading to reveal his cooked face, golden brown, his eyes a dead fish white, his lips receeded, and his gums cooked and barely clinging onto the teeth. i then enjoy the most fabulous meal ever concocted. i even used his blood as a sort of gravy!

I'd love to kick Warwick Davis in the head. Just take a few steps run up then catch him with the full force of my steel capped toe under his chin, send that little faggot flying through the air.

As he lies on the floor, coughing and wheezing and chocking on his own blood, his jaw a mangled mess of bones detached from the rest of his skull, I stand over him and laugh wickedly. He looks up at me in fear and pain, his eyes searching, begging me for mercy. He finds none. I raise my boot then stomp down, splitting his skull like a melon and finally ending his pathetic life.

What I would give to kidnap Warwick Davis and make his life a living hell. I would force him to dress up in elf and leprechaun outfits and subject him to pure awfulness and humiliation. Just terrible degradation and shameful acts. It would be so easy to break his spirit and drive him to suicide, but I wouldn't let him do it. If I could train a dog to rape on command then I would totally do that as well. A really big dog like a mastiff. He would be so completely and utterly powerless to stop it, not to mention terrified. A big ass dog is even scary and life-threatening to a normal human but to a midget? Might as well be a dragon. I'd keep him in a cell and what's more is that I would actually place the key inside with him but put it in a high place. Not extremely high but just ever so slightly oot of reach. It would drive him mad. I would dress him like a baby and force feed him 99 cent store baby food. I'd also pick him up like a child and toss him from one corner to the next. I'd grab him by one leg and swing him as hard and as fast as I could then hurl him to see how far he goes. I'd rent one of those giant inflatable bounce houses and body slam him all day until my arms got tired. I'd hold him down with 1 hand and slowly stick things up his butt just to see him squirm. I would stick him in dryers and turn them on and leave him in there for long periods of time. I'd force him to fight other midgets to the death. Just so many things i would do.

Personally, I would swallow Warwick Davis. Nothing would be more humiliating for him than to live out his final days imprisoned in the anatomical labyrinth of a normal sized human. Every inch of my intestines would be a mile of torment for Warwick, every little step of his a reminder of his puny insignificance. In order to sufficiently break his will, I’d ensure that his death came slow. I would encase him in the wax of a melted birthday candle to protect his skin and pose him like a gingerbread man just for fun. Inside his wax cocoon I’d leave him a light source, an LED bulb attached to a watch battery.

He spends the first few hours of his fatal journey tumbling helplessly like a pebble in a tidal wave of bile. Eventually the wax cracks at his joints, letting the foul goblin freely traverse my intestinal dungeon. Warwick quickly grows tired after walking several feet without his trusty child-sized Segway and starts to crawl like the ant he is. His infantile stride is assisted by the corrosive flow of my digestive system but gradually, Warwick’s candy-colored armor degrades. The exposed tissue of the vile homunculus starts melting, limiting his movement even further (as if that’s even possible).

Engulfed in agony, his LED bulb depleted, the midge finally collapses. The world around him is now a pitch black void, a meaningless pocket of space inside my body but for Warwick, his tomb. Suddenly, a glimmer of light emerges. Warwick fixes his beady, partially corroded eyes on it. The light grows brighter until suddenly he begins moving toward it, as if carried by angels to the gates of heaven. But alas, there is no heaven for the odious midge. I reach with toilet paper in hand, wipe and feel an odd sensation like popping a zit. Upon the paper I find the smeared visage of Warwick Davis’ upper half, his face a squished skin mask streaked in browns and reds. I relish in this moment realizing that he has become what he and the world always knew he was. Shit.

Leave him in a house full of food in the top cupboard but no furniture

We're already on thin ice bros. What if he sees this thread?

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he is not around. I looked under the coffee table.

oh shit i thought this was the magic: the gathering thread

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I love that a life size cut out of him is something you can just put on a desk lmao

Imagine having an extra large cut-out of Warwick

post your weapon of choice

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Fucking kek. I'm going down under for this