Sent my screenplay in to get analyzed

>sent my screenplay in to get analyzed
>had two readers look it over
>one hated it, the other liked it
This is exactly what I didn't want to happen, now I can't tell whether or not I should bother reworking it

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docdro.id/SucSEt3
youtube.com/watch?v=oq2rBE5zwAs
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How long does it take someone to write a screenplay

you should share it here and we would give you a better opinion than any "professional"

hey, user. keep going and dont give up. seriously, you got this. dont expect instant success especially when it comes to creative things that are subjective for what is good and bad material. ur gonna have to rework ur stuff constantly, but maybe just ask a few friends or family members to gloss it over nd ask for suggestions or feedback. id wait on reworking over just two people and only one not likin it
i wrote a 38-page tv show and that took me over two weeks nd probably around 20 hours total worked on, but second, third and fourth draft revisions were not included for total time spent

Depends on the project. This took me about five months of writing, plus probably another month or two before that of conceptualizing and brainstorming. But I'm not a NEET, currently employed full time, so that's put a strain on my time available to work on scripts. It's also only the first draft; I may have at least another five months ahead of me if I decide it needs a rewrite.

I doubt that, these professionals know what they're talking about. But there might be at least one user willing to put in the time to read it and give feedback. I'll post the first ten pages here:

docdro.id/SucSEt3

If you're interested in reading more, give me a burner email or something and I'll send you the full file.

I'll never give up!

cool. thank you

>Three souls lie unconscious in the open back of a VAN. They
are HENRY (40s, he/him), ESME (early 20s, they/them), & AMY
(30s, she/her).
do u really need to put pronouns in a script nowdays or are you trolling us

That was an artistic choice.

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what's the premise?

Three souls are trapped in a strange white room. A voice comes in over a loudspeaker and tells them that they're in Hell. They wrestle with the voice is a desperate bid for their freedom.

Is this normal script formatting?
Capitalizing key items like a video game strategy guide, "(beat)" in the dialogue?

holy based

i think OP is ripping off the cell meet resident evil

>ESME (early 20s, they/them)
dropped

>do u really need to put pronouns in a script nowdays or are you trolling us
youtube.com/watch?v=oq2rBE5zwAs

My (beat)s are admittedly excessive. I feel it's in the nature of the script to have a great deal of awkward silences but I'm probably overdoing it.
As for the capitalizations, it varies from writer to writer, but I tend to capitalize key props and elements of the mise-en-scene. It makes things slightly easier for the people who (hopefully) make the film.

I'm mainly ripping off Huis Clos, but I also stole ideas from Saw and Phone Booth. I've never seen The Cell and I've never played Resident Evil.

What's wrong with nonbinary folks?

alright, user. I just read through. it wasn't bad, but you really need to clean up your 'action' spots. if you want the script to get picked up, it needs to be way tighter. quick example
>Lit by powerful fluorescents, the room’s windowless whitewalls are painfully bright. Henry, Esme, and Amy each lie unconscious on different SOFAS.
Instead, say
>Henry. Esme and Amy lay unconscious on separate sofas in a bright, fluorescent-lit room.

I read a while ago, that the less details, the better. Unless, it is super important to the plot. Apparently studio execs hate reading through tons of lines of exposition and will drop a script if it gets way too descriptive.

ESME
Maybe we did something a long time
ago. Something we didn’t think much
of, but something someone else got
really mad about. And they paid to
have us locked up in here for...
for a really long time. Years.
Beat. Amy and Henry are baffled.
HENRY
What are you talking about?
ESME
What? That was in a movie.

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>What's wrong with nonbinary folks?
I don't understand what they are and why he or she doesn't apply to them

The same thing applies to producers. Countless filmmakers report getting rejected

Thanks for the tips. You're 100% right, I'll try to keep things tighter in subsequent drafts. Are you interested in giving the full thing a read? You really only got a taste of it.

Aren't they supposed to give you constructive criticism? What's the point of sending it someone just to have them say if they liked it or not?

There are more unwanted screenplays in LA than there are used condoms.

if you post the full version, i will. i dont feel like giving out a burner email. Also, just a little advice/recommendation- try finding one of your favorite movie's script online and then watch the movie in real-time as you read through the script. This exercise really helped me understand screenwriting basics. I listened to Sorkin on a podcast years ago and he said that was the best thing you can do as an aspiring screenwriter. Remember too, at the end of the day, these execs are reading 100s of scripts in a given month. There is a formula involved, you can stray and add creative flair, but dont do that too much or your script will get discarded ASAP