Does this happen in your country as well?????
>become bug exterminator, its the best job ever
>run out of bug powder in the middle of a job (its the powder you spray in the rooms that kills bugs)
>turns out my whore wife was stealing my bug powder, mixing it with baby laxatives, boiling and injecting it to get high
>boss is critizing me for using too much powder
>one day narcotics police arrests me, they think im suspicious because of how much powder i use
>at the police station they want to inspect my powder, so they pour it on the desk and put a giant, massive cockroach, like bigger than your hand, on the desk to test my powder and leave for a few hours
>massive giant roach tells me to stay calm, the roach orchestrated this whole thing
>in perfect fluency the roach tells me it is my handler, i am the agent handpicked by the center to eliminate a double agent from the interzone incorporated
>interzone incorporated is a disgusting free port in north africa where all the scum of the world meets, organized crime, black markets, intelligence agencies
>the double agent is my whore wife the giant cockroach insists, and proceeds to explain to me that my wife is not actually even human
>i squash the bug with my shoe right there on the police desk and escape, too horrified to even consider what the roach is telling me
few hours later
>i must have hallucinated on bug powder, forgot what i even told the cops or how long was i there or how did i escape
>dont know if i have a job anymore, if the police is chasing me, or what is going on
>go back to shitposting on Any Forums
Does this happen in your country as well?????
should've trusted the roach
>serbian humor
It was a Turk. You killed a real person. That's why the police are after you
Ok Haşim
This is what The Metamorphosis would have been if Kafka was a Serb
im not going to read that
what is the girl doing
i recommend you to read
i didnt read it either but i tried
too long and already by the first sentence i got tired and lost interest
take your medication
later at home
>tell the wife what happened to me, she starts screaming like a paranoid junkie that we need to leave
>she apologizes, admits that she has a habbit and that she has been injecting bug powder in her tit to get high
>she licks my finger, puts my wet finger in the dry bug powder bag, rubs her lips with my powdered finger and starts kissing me, seduces me to go with her
next day, i take the bus that i know my colleague uses
>colleague is asleep, his bug powder sprayer is next to him
>i know all this, happens every day, and i try to steal his sprayer
>he wakes up and caches me
>i try to explain to him that my equipment is missing, in a matter of speaking
>he says he knows about this, the police has my powder and sprayer locked up in evidence, asks me if this is why i am stealing his
>i tell him this is most unkind, i am simply doing a job for.. a friend, he has a centipede problem, big arogant centipedes
>my friend has kids, he cant just have his kids live in a house with centipedes
>friend told me he knows what this is, he has seen it before, he saw people develop a powder problem and hands me a mysterious business card of some general practice doctor, tells me to call the number
>i call the number, doctor schedules a visit
>tells me if my wife keeps abusing bug powder she might die
>gives me some medication and just tells me to mix it with the powder without her noticing
>he convinces me the medication is all natural, explains how it works with some brain receptors, addict loses interest in the powder etc etc i cant keep up with medical terminology
>ok, i ask the doctor where can i get more powder so i can mix it in
>at first doctor thought i was the addict, but he was convinced i wasnt so he gave me some powder and mixed the medicine in with a pen
>he explains the medicine when mixed has no color or taste or smell, it perfectly blends in.. like an agent, an agent who perfectly blended in his cover
>doctor is looking me straight in the eye every time he mentions the word 'agent'
>Turk
>real person
i get back home from the doctor
>wife is already shooting powder in her arm
>she asks me if i wanna bang her while she does it
>i do, ask her how it feels like
>she tells me she cant cum while she is on the bug powder, she also doesnt need to and i shouldnt worry
>instead, what would be fun for her is us doing our william tell routine (shooting the apple off of persons head)
>ok, i take my pistol from the desk and she puts a glass on her head
>i accidently shoot her straight in the forehead and she collapses dead on the floor
Don't take your meds, they are created by cockroaches in collusion with the CIA.
strong start
kinda lost steam
a chuckle or two, didnt think serbs are humans because of the holocausting
Bravo Serbian PKD
>traumatized by the event, i go to the bar to calm down and order a drink
>while drinking, i notice someone sitting next to me
>its a gray alien looking type, sucking the drink with his very long tongue, he is at least 4 meters tall
>he tells me not to act this surprised, i should have known that we would be in touch
>tells me to buy a type writer, hand written reports are considered unprofessional
>what reports, i ask him, i am very shocked and confused
>for the reports from the interzone ofcourse, he explains calmly
>interzone?
>allien simply tells me not to leave out any juicy details in my reports
>juicy details?
>alien gives me examples such as small red hole on the forehead, her astonished look, how she collapsed on the floor etc
>i now realize he is talking about my wife
>alien also tells me i need to leave the city, police are looking for me and the interzone is the only place where a shady character like me could fit in, and gives me plane ticket
i land in the interzone, in north africa
>streets are full of people
>chatter everywhere
>all kinds of characters wearing all kinds of clothes talking all sorts of languages
>i walk into one of the shops to buy the typewriter for my reports, but i have no money
>interzone street merchant accepts my pistol for the typewriter and also offers me some bug powder on the house, you can just buy anything here
>i rent a room with half of the powder and start writting my report and start falling asleep
>half asleep, i still hear the sounds of typewriter typing.. until i notice it is typing by itself
>the typewriter was actually that massive cockroach from the police station, i never noticed this before
>roach tells me not to worry, it didnt abandon me, and congratulates me on a job well done with my wife
>it tells me to add a few sentences to the report, roach will dictate and i can just type them
>"having sex with cockroaches is the best cover an agent can have" the roach starts, i am too weirded out by this and i stand up from the desk to leave the house, i can hear the roach in the background goin on how being open to engaging sexually with the cockroach would be very interesting and positive and so on
what's wrong with roaches