ITT: translate jokes directly into english

A man enters a cafe, and then, splash!

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Are you translating that from American?

from spanish

>that flag
Makes sense

Why should you never drink cola and beer at the same time? - Because then you cola-beer (kollabierst / colabiert / collapse)!

It's french

It's pave or to eat?

A man from Mudug who was very well-known in the city fell ill, and when his cousins came, he opened his eyes and said: "I know your bad conscience, and I know that you are on the verge of death"

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What do you call the sunset in Finland? Hellsinki.

lmao

The elevator opens and a man asks “Is it going down?”

Scientists from the United States discovered some kind of Arab country over the deposits of American oil

A man puts on a hat, and it fits just right

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holy shit lmao

there was a dog named sock, when he crossed the street they put it on

>A man puts on a hat, and it fits just right
>What do you call the sunset in Finland? Hellsinki.

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what cough syrup does god drink?
none, because god forbid

Am I autistic I never laugh at jokes I get them but they're not funny

Woman enters the doctors office and says
>i have water in my knee
Doctor replies
>and i have cubes of sugar

Enver pasha sends a telegraph to the city of Rize
"clean all the Armenians"
he goes to Rize himself if the deed is done
he finds that the city forced all of the Armenians to take a bath
the joge is that armenians very stinky

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>am i autistic
yea

That’s a very weird joke

one day a man in a concentration camp got a hamburger, his friend asks him: "where did you get a hamburger?"
the man replied: "my father is minced"

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True not funny but true turks are also stinky

That's not a joke I think I might have autism

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god created the world in 6 days but what few people know is that every day he created a dialect.
The first day he created the swabians, the second day the saxons, the third day the berliners, the fourth day the hessians, the fitfh day the swiss and the sixth day the cologners.
Then on the seventh day the bavarian came to god and asked: "Lord, the world is created and all the dialects are distributed, but there is none left for me! What should I do?"-

"Ge wos!" said god to him "daun redst hoid afoch aso wia I!"