/desi/

no.1 edition

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good morning sirs

>go to the mess to have dinner
>the owner comes sits next to me
>starts asking if I have a gf
>asks if I invite her over to my pg or do it in a hotel
>tell him I never had a gf
>tells me that girls like guys who have never used their "pistol" while I am eating
>asks if he can find me a girl who will do me for free
wtf bros? i felt so uncomfortable
I'm thinking about eating outside the college now

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>free pussy arrangement
>refuses
Nepalbro...

i think he was joking
i wouldn't fuck bihari pussy anyways

I wake up before sunrise and immediately offer prayers to Krishna, then I do pranam to the deity of the sun, Surya, as the sun slowly rises from the horizon, next I proceed to a shower and clean my teeth using a Neem twig.

I then face either north or east on a pure sheet positioned on pure grounds, that remains undisturbed by any other object or article. I take 3 sippings of holy water and proceed to put on my forehead, bosom and tow arms a round mark of red powder (tilak). I then meditate on brahman itself for several minutes, before bowing and chanting mantras to the murtis of the five deities (Shiva, Vishnu, Devi, Surya and Ganpati, as per panchayatana puja) as a means to raise to higher planes of the swinging pendulum of birth to death to rebirth (in order to the avoid duldrums of lower planes of existence or Samsara which ulitmately distract the finite brain from contemplation of atman and brahman).

I've read the Vedas and Upanishads 30 times already and can recite Puranas off by heart, all in their original sanskrit. I've also studied the systems of logic from Nyaya, the metaphysics of Nagarjuna's Mulamadhyamakakarika (the foundational text of Mahayana), Advaita and Dvaita systems of ontology, the mathematics of Aryabhatta and countless Sutras on all topics.

I avoid all tamasic foods and activities and try to avoid maya (worldly pleasures and attachments) as much as possible, as such all I own is an orange shawl and i spoil all morsels of food with drops of water, to dull the taste (attachment to sensory pleasures only leads to misery and suffering). I do this because the entire material universe is a merely a distraction from reuniting the soul with the unknowable, infinite and immutable mind that underlies everything one materially senses. And so I haven't deliberately looked at a woman in 3 years and I subsist solely off of begging for alms.

Wish me luck in india
Om Tat Sat

>be me mess owner
>see the half autistic half lonely guy sitting alone again
>try to make small talk, he doen't talk very much
>ask him if get laids or no, and obviously he doesn't
>offers him a free whore because he is a good kid
>looks at me with disgust
wtf bros is he gay? should i find a guy instead?

>tell him I never had a gf
why the fuck would you do this

>be me an autistic asocial gril
>see my mess owner uncle approach a boy from distance
>looks very soy with thin arms and patchy beard
>haha hope uncle doesn't try and hook me up with that guy
>mfw he's doing exactly that
>the boy seems uncomfortable maybe he is gay
>whew saved

kek