Goes to the cinema toilet

>goes to the cinema toilet

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just hover above the seat

>inb4 'im fat and it hurts my back :('

I bet this guy asks himself "why does my asshole itch all the time?"

>he doesn't shit standing
What are you, a woman?

bro that is not enough coverage, you need to put one row of tp more to the outside, then overlap that row slightly with another row more to the inside of the toilet. Then you put a final row of toilet paper over the seam between the first two toilet paper rows to keep it all together

You're only at the theater for what? 2-3 hours of your life? Maybe a little longer if the movie is long, or if you arrived a little early or something. So I'll give you 4 hours max.

You're only at the theater for 4 hours out of your life, and NOW is the time you decide to take a shit?

>he shits IN the bowl
Ngmi

when I am at home I have to take all my clothes off to poop, I don't know why I have to do this but I can't seem to shit with clothes on it doesn't feel right

I needed a shit once in the cinema and automatically took my clothes of in the stall and put them on a dry part of the bench near the sink and the fucking janitor took them and it was stuck naked in the toilet cubical for 2 hrs until he came back in

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I do my best to make sure I never have to defecate in public restrooms. I don't even remember the last time I had to.

this
i have never taken a shit anywhere but my own home and i never will

You're a wild man if you shit on public toilets.

>when I am at home I have to take all my clothes off to poop, I don't know why I have to do this but I can't seem to shit with clothes on it doesn't feel right
I am kind of like this. Kind of.

>put them on a dry part of the bench near the sink and the fucking janitor took them and it was stuck naked in the toilet cubical for 2 hrs until he came back in
You are a retard.

Why are you guys such pussies? just wipe the piss off the seat and sit down.

>those crab legs tasted funky
>damn you, Robert!

just shit on the floor. the janny will clean it up

>Market butt
>Keep wiping
>Still leaves a mark
>Toilet plugs
>Fuck

Why am I like this? Why are my poops so pasty like clay?

what is your position on the covid vaccine

fpbp

I always shit at work, at the bathrooms with the best wifi reception

How to bongs shit in these toilets all the time? When I went to the UK I tried to shit in public and 3/4 of the toilets were clogged. I image fat greasy norfmen turds are constantly breaking these weak ass toilets.

you can't go three hours without shitting?

I remember I once licked the toilet seat at a high school house party because the girl I had a crush on had just used the bathroom bros.

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>using the toilet
ngmi
in any public restroom you are supposed to piss and shit everywhere BUT the toilet

>stuck naked in the toilet cubical for 2 hrs until he came back in

What happened when he came back?

I never flush when I shit away from home. I derive pleasure and satisfaction from this act, knowing that someone, anyone, will stare at my poop before they flush it.

I am the guy who leaves those hue shits that won't flush

you will notice there might be 1 sheet of toilet paper like someone just didn't wipe and left

Its because of my high protein diet and that 1 sheet of paper was just to check and it was a one wipe wonder

>actually unironically shitting in public access places

AYOOOO CHECK THIS NIGGA OUT

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u wish they would break u?

>only one layer
and what about the piss drops from other people who are still fresh on the seat?

I turn off the lights when I take a shit. There's no window in my restroom so it's pitch black.

I hate people who do this. I assume they're into scat too.

My Amerisharts are smooth, clean, and streamlined like a Ford assembly line.

based shit leavers

he just gave them back and said sorry

he must have seen so much shit that this incident didn't even make his list

The same.

>those hue shits

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why does it matter its not like you scratch your buttocks and sniff or lick your fingers afterwards any way lol like only your ass is gonna get dirty then transfer to your already dirty underwear

>he can't see what he wipes
why do you do this to yourself

How can you guys not shit standing up?
Don't your dicks touch the bowl? This is on of my biggest fears in life

Why are all the hands black?

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I turn off the lights in public restrooms if there is someone in the stall. I frequently do cross country trips and doing it in rest stops in the middle of Arkansas is the best, people absolutely lose their minds

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>clean it up jannies

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you hold your dick up out of the bowl
how did your dad not teach you this?

I do this too. Even in public restrooms I take off all my clothes.

where is the shelf? how do you inspect your shit for impurities?

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Rubber band

>I turn off the lights in public restrooms if there is someone in the stall
I know my new habbit thank you user

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Is this learned behavior, or do people just instinctually construct these nests?

I cup my dick and balls and then wipe standing up.

On a related note, how the fuck do Germans shit in these types toilets without smearing shit all over their balls?

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had covid already, never been vaxxed, never will, dont care

they are Germans they WANT shit smeared on their balls