Forget to return library book in the 3rd grade

>forget to return library book in the 3rd grade
>he kidnaps you, and puts you through some torture device that inevitably kills you

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>death by 1000 paper cuts

Based. You should have returned the book.

Reminder he never actually broke the law

It's called JUSTICE.

you were taking that library book for granted, and for that, you will pay

forced to read the book

Top lol

>bankrupt from medical expenses
>terminally ill and almost bedridden
>only life experience is some engineering work
>somehow constructs dozens of elaborate multi-million dollar death trap facilities across the country in the middle of crowded city centers

I've only seen one of these movies. I just remember one of the traps being a device that needed a certain amount of liquid, and small holes with saws in them that they ended up sticking their arms into instead of all collectively pissing into it.

>hello user, I want to play a game
>last week I was shopping for groceries. I was in the potato chip aisle. I saw you approach me. As I bent down to get my sour cream and onion chips I saw you pass me from the corner of my eye
>as I clutched my delicious chips in my hand, the most putrid smell assaulted my nostrils
>you crop dusted me, user. You left your smelly cloud right in my face. Your disgusting poo air enveloped me. Much like this cage envelopes you now
>I've put a key deep in your anus and fed you enough pepto bismol that you won't be able to shit for a week. Now you must reach into your own putrid hole and find the key to your escape.
>you have 15 minutes before the room you're in is flooded with methane gas, the same gas that is in farts
>live, or die. Make your choice

quality

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>The good news is that in order to survive, you must read the book in public out loud. However the bad news is that last book you read was huckleberry Finn

kek

kidnapping and false imprisonment are both felonies

>No officer I didn't kill him.
>He had covid and died with it, so techinaclly he was killed by covid even if he had a chainsaw chop his head off

Exactly.

Those charges would never hold up in court.

The worst part is, he would walk free.

>So you have browsed Any Forums? This bullet will soon leave my gun aimed at your head.
>Live or die, make your choice.
>*Pow*

Didnt get this short...

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But he was rich as fuck tho, when he talks with his insurer about him wanting to try an experimental treatment and gets denied he said money wasnt an issue and he could pay for it himself, but he wanted the insurance to cover it because it was the right thing to do, or some dumb shit like that.