I am very mentally ill

yeah you and every other Any Forums poster

Based

Same

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I have ocd

I know what I am doing is insane and I can't stop myself doing compulsions or rituals

everyday is hell

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what kind of things do you do?

Kek

Me too user I just get more degenerate but also more charming and smarter it is a trade off with psychosis.

If I step out of a door incorrectly the devil now owns my soul so I have to go back until it feels right

It takes me 2 hrs to leave the house

I have walked back home a number of times to do it some more at great anguish

that's just rational behaviour you wouldn't want a demon owning your soul

i shit in the bathtub and stomp it down the drain. yes i get foot infections

Does it go away if you drink alcohol or drugs?

There's not a day that goes past that I don't verbalize "Kill yourself" or some variation. I haven't spoken to another person for 3 years.

say it, don't spray it!

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I've developed a similar thing, anytime I'm overwhelmed, stressed or have some invasive thoughts I say something like nigger or cunt

I think its a defensive thing because it helps me relax / break out of my thought loops