/brit/

not a thought behind those eyes

why don't you just kill the monkeys

pinch punch first of the month
*whips my just below average willy out but its soft so does me no justice at all*

Matthew 20:20–28

mikey the monkeypox super spreader

cannot be arsed with the world

rorkeypol
leftyrorke

bit harsh mate, it's just a McDonald's ordering machine

>holiday flights being cancelled is the top story

remind me why I'm supposed to have sympathy for families rich enough to swan away on holiday while there's a cost of living crisis ongoing?

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She's innocent.

anticipating a clue

Drinking some sparkling water out of the holy grail

mad how the hepatitis a+b full course of vaccinations cost 250 pounds

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get a real job and the cost of living crisis disappears

can't stand elon musk and the more he does and the more he says the less I like him

weird egotistical fat unfunny creepy manchild, one of the billionaire's least personally responsible for their wealth and the most cunty about it

if you can't afford the cost of living, have you considered no longer living?

>rich enough
return flights: £60
accommodation: £20 per night
spending money: ~£30 per day

can literally have a week away for less than 400 quid

>cost of living crisis

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pack of fags sucked
a clue gained

...

>spending money: ~£30 per day

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wow a tory minister visiting our very own /brit/ general.

im based

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poor people have no clue how much things actually cost, big part of why they stay poor

got like 25 beer and cider cans littered around my desk and the floor

not gonna lie to you lot. unironically living off the food bank as we speak

based

>return flights: £60
to where? timfucktoo?

yeah?
seems reasonable

catberg trying to wrestle me into giving him his dinner

shameful, that

Elon "Please like mePlease like mePlease like mePlease like me I'm coolI'm coolI'm cool" Musk

McDonald's for lunch and getting pissed off wine gums? Give your head a wobble.

you do realize how cheap 90% of forin places are right? i ate at a high class restaurant at a harbour in portugal and the entire dining experience came to £25 (3 course meal + chefs choice appertizer + wine)

Genuinely have a chapped bellend from wanking

happens to the best of us

Why do you dislike him? If I was in his position I'd probably act pretty similarly.

How much did you tip?

You think they ever used these costumes in the bedroom?

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ruminating

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if you put food in the food bank does it generate interest?

speedwanker here. You need lube for a really big sesh. Even with a foreskin + normal precum production it's simply not enough if you're going 12+ hours.

have you ever been abroad? 40 euros is more than enough as a daily average

mate, do yourself a favour and before hitting Post just read your post and think "does this make my sound autistic?"
because for fuck's sake

I work for a bank and before Christmas two years ago a relationship manager called me and asked to raise the credit limit for a food bank as they urgently needed it so I said I did it but then "accidentally" reduced it until after the new year

Lol starve cunts you won't be getting any credit from me go pull your bootstraps up scroungers

would honestly just have my twitter full of /brit/-esque shit if i was a multibillionaire. the world would deserve to know when my every poo takes place

yeah it isnt great

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any peng duas?

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i hear mikey just goes around handing jam sandwiches to people telling them they're his bank

stuck half a bag of nik-naks in the food bank months ago and if anything there's fewer in there than when I started!
fucking swizz

average tiranan girl mogs her

thought that was tim

A is for Arse
B is for Bum
C is for Cunt
D is for Dick
keep it going lads

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same
imagine being a billionaire who gives a fuck what people think of you
it's against the whole spirit of the thing

>Why do you dislike him?
he's cringe, reddit, and an evil businessman, and he has an even worse cult of followers who gargle his shit and cum constantly

aye tim's a bit like huey emmerich

It's not autistic at all. Elon looks like he's having fun running his companies, and he's made good money from it. Looks like a good life. You wouldn't want that life?

Never understood if you lot doing the whole
>lol mikey said they were his bank lmao
are either too think or underage to understand how that sort of thing works or if you were just doing it as an ironic zoomer joke or what. Very perplexing.

this is what got notch cancelled

don't know who that is x

alri

Cope

I always poison the food I give to food banks

Trying to make this labour safe seat a bit less safe

lmagine hating a billionaire pouring money into space travel because it's 'reddit'

okay nevermind, that would take some self-awareness

harmony korine's daughter is named "lefty"

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Just butchered a job interview
Woman said sue was informal qnd then preceeded to be completey humourless. Here complete silence and intensity made me nervous and then she told me to my face that I was impolite and probably wouldnt get the job

It isn't cope mate, do you genuinely not understand how that works or is it just a wind-up?

>back in the office next week
>i moved closer to my parents and rented a nicer place during wfh
>means i now have a 2 hour commute x2 per day
>wont get paid during commute hours
>can claim back 20p per mile expenses

fucked it

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leng

play metal gear solid matey wahey

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i.4cdn.org/biz/1654037042390.webm

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I'm too think for a lot of things tbf

kicking my legs in the air and giggling with glee upon remembering i'm Australian

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*patiently waits for N*

fucked up two interviews myself this year
would probably have put in more effort if i didnt already have a job aha x

Makes you think doesn’t it

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you cant live with a 4 hour commute..wtf

>he's cringe, reddit
In what ways?
>an evil businessman
He's evil just because he owns successful businesses? Murderers and paedos are evil. Don't see how Musk is evil really.
>he has an even worse cult of followers who gargle his shit and cum constantly
This is ad hominem, a.k.a. not an argument.

So you think I'm not self-aware? That's ad hominem, a.k.a. not an argument.

food bank is doing an introductory deal where if you transfer your ISA to them they'll give you a carvery for switching

Arsetralia and Poo Zealand

lool sucked in

have sent these posts over to GCHQ

kek actually /brit/-tier

not funny

why were you impolite

maybe you're just too think to get it

>That's ad hominem, a.k.a. not an argument.

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might invest some cans of Tesco's own brand baked beans and sit on it for a while before trading up for some Heinz once the interest has ticked over a bit

*ahem*

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mad how that freak ruined his personal life
>becomes billionaire
>posts questionable edgy shite on twitter
>wife breaks up with him
>becomes a loner

mad how you can cycle across the whole uk in a couple of days

if i were a billionaire i'd just quietly retire to the coast somewhere like italy.

lead a very simple and austere life. i'd publish essays on various topics and only eat one meal a day.

get a new job then lol

matey actually thought that post would stop him from looking autistic and self-unaware

E is for Excrement
F is for Fanny
G is for Gash
H is for Hoe

i oscillate between studying the decline of anglo civilisation and watching degen shit on /gif/

his mum in the reflection

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i'll cycle you into the ground cunt

boris

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my brother cycled 30 miles this one time.

for me? this is the best /brit/ gimmick, the fact it just pops up and rarely gets (You)'s makes it even more amusing to me

a timeless classic, and the rolls royce of gimmicks

N is for nostril

yeah mad that

its shit

would routinely pick up a 3 pack of bounty bars from tesco on the way home and scoff them in my room all cosy like

getting drunk and cooking heaps of food as usual

I didnt think so. I made a joke that i hadnt hit puberty yet because she said I had a very young face.

yeah?

"think" instead of "thick" might be the best new gimmick in all honesty.

looking at my ubereats driver on the map and screaming at the screen when he stops at traffic lights

thats not impolite

wonder if a writer has ever stumbled upon /brit/ and found inspiration

gimp
FUCK the queen

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u brown?

would quite like to eviscerate every Yankaloid who starts a sentence with 'so....'

oh she's 'armless x

Good lad.
Making himself more and more electable with each passing day.

how long does it take to go to heathrow via the tube

ahaha no dumplings wanker

so

impoolite

shes 12

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Unsurprising that an Elon Musk fanboy is responding to someone in such an autistic reddity way

whats she pointing at

if the orders cancelled you'll be the first to meet my fists

Put off going to the doctor to get a prescription for dick pills again
fuck

why’s she dressed like that then

around an hour

been enjoying /sp/ again, reckon we're about to seen a resurgence

fuck me the world will be grim when whites are minorities in their own countries

entire countries carrying on like brazil or fucking lebanon

fuck sakes

some serfs

Unironically love russian culture. Not in a cringe way like redditors who post cyka blyat, but I enjoy the music, literature, etc. thanks for reading my blog

Yeah well I'll smash up a food bank before they can get me

shameless panderer, can't believe this bullshit wins votes

lmao gimp fuck off