A swede walks into an english pub

My neighbor from africa randomly wanted to give me some nice african cuisine. I wanted to swish him multiple times but he declined.

Only tikkie does that
Swish doesnt work the same way

Kek Swedes really can't understand the concept of hospitality

Swish is a simple money transfer system, it's not for making invoices like Tikkie seems to be.

I know we are here to shit on swedes but nothing will ever beat the Dutch.

I once went to a dinner with a table of 18 mostly dutch.

They insisted everyone pay for exactly what they got and looked at me like some kind of freak for suggesting we just do an even split.
A few of them who had shared their food had negotiated between them how much to offset to each other.

It was excruciating

Once on vacation I had a beer with a swede that he paid for, but I didn't exchange any information other than my name and country of origin. I also didn't pay him back. Is he right now relentlessly trying to track me down to swish me accordingly?

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It's too late. He already knows what you are having for dinner and is coming hungry.

Expect a call from the authorities

>They insisted everyone pay for exactly what they got
That's fair though.

It is but holy shit, at this point just split the tickets. A god damn bill doesn't have to become a group project.

Jesus Christ they sound insufferable.

How can people live like that? It's quite a mental burden to always calculate the cost of everything you do with other people

>spending 45min calculating a bill to potentially save £4

Do you write each other checks or some shit like the Germans do?

Why even is there a common bill?
Everyone should order individually

Saves paper.

And make the waiting staff's work even more unbearable

We don't use paper
Everything is electronic

Paper money is almost unusable too, most stores won't accept them.

This unironically sounds dystopic.

Only people dealing in drugs and tax dodging have a need for papper money.

Almost starting to believe that Nordoids don't know the custom of haggling the price when going to restaurants in group and paying cash in hand to advantage both parties

>swedes spy on their guests whenever they go to the bathroom to calculate how long the water is running so they can bill them accordingly

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>having a dinner with colleagues
>everyone had a beer or cocktail, main course and coffee
>I had 2 pints, a starter, main course, a dessert, 0,5L wine and 2 coffee
>"how do you want to do guys? Let's split the bill!"

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This sounds almost too dystopian to be true. Tell me you are just joking and cash is simply unpopular because of the weather or some other asinine shit.

Haggling is anathema
The price is the price, take it or leave it.

We don't pay for water.

>haggling the price of your meal at a restaurant
No wonder you cunts charge 20 bucks for a bottle of water in your tourist traps. Your native people won't even pay their dues.

Haggling is part of the human mentality since the Neolithic, how could you simply forget it

It's true. It's a bit difficult for the old people, but otherwise it's great. It's also a serious vulnerability in case of hacker attacks.

sweden.se/life/society/a-cashless-society

interestingengineering.com/sweden-how-to-live-in-the-worlds-first-cashless-society

riksbank.se/en-gb/payments--cash/payments-in-sweden/payments-in-sweden-2020/1.-the-payment-market-is-being-digitalised/why-are-people-in-sweden-no-longer-using-cash/

I'm 30. Haven't used cash in over 15 years.

I will be offended if you try to haggle with me.

>implying nordo*ds are human

Immediately repay this (You) debt to me

>human mentality
We don't do that here.
I've never haggled in my life. The price of an item is the price you pay. Can't afford it, don't buy it. Simple.

desu the whole invited for dinner meme is just tip of the ice berg when it comes to prime swedish memes. wait till you hear about the autism concerning communal laundromat routines.

If you tried to haggle at a store or restaurant in Sweden you'd get thrown out.

That's seriously crazy to me. Sure we have digital payment and stuff, too. But sometimes I don't want to swipe my card. Some businesses in the US will charge you to pay via debit/credit if it's not over a certain dollar amount. So if I only want to buy something like a drink or a snack I can just hand the clerk a few dollars and receive change. Not swipe my card, wait, put in my pin or choose credit, wait, approve, wait, sign, wait, like what the fuck? In and out 2 minutes, one drink, -$1.

It's not about affording it or not, you see? It's about advantaging both you, by paying a bit less, and the seller, by not paying taxes

>communal laundromat routines
Do tell

What gave Germanics this turbo-autismo?

>not paying taxes
Can't be a NEET for life unless people pay taxes. Sounds bad.

Listen, fuckboy. The loaf of bread is 4 fucking Italian Dollaridoos. If you want a loaf of bread for cheaper go to the store, buy the ingredients, and make it yourself.

Oh gosh, I can only imagine kek