Columbo: [rhetorical leading question]

1. The typical Columbo suspect is someone who is high society and thinks they're smarter than they really are.
2. They are not career criminals and this is their first murder.
3. They are typically not even official suspects at all, and are pretending to be merely a witness or an associate of the killed. Columbo doesn't lay it on them until near the very end.

>pretending to be merely a witness
literally the dumbest thing you can do. the urge, when lying, is to keep lying.

It's kind of absurd once you get out of the beginning episodes and he starts showing up IMMEDIATELY after the crime is committed

He's like a ghost. He rarely interacts with police officers, and he is solo. There are few if any scenes of him at the station talking to other detectives or his superiors. He is like a spirit designed to get the guilty to admit their guilt. And that's a good thing, because it makes the show unique.

It makes it too cartoony but I'll give it to you that it's certainly unique

>uh oh! They moved a number! This is a holocaust worse than all the nigger murders ever committed
Shut up you nigger-worshipping faggot

STAYVUN

>nooo not all crime is equal
whew, for a second there i was thinking you were going to start saying black lives matter. because 13/50 = black lives matter. as 99% of black crime is against black victims.

Think of it as metaphorically a story about a magical spirit getting the murderer to confess. It's not a literal show, nor is it very interested in the pesky details of an actual police investigation.

Would be funny if there's a follow up scene, where the guilty shows up to the station, admits their guilt, and then blames that pesky Columbo.

>"Detective Columbo? There's no detective with that name at this station".

It's supposed to be. Peter Falk was in a bunch of comedy movies.

It's really not that funny.

modern reboot:
>police think columbo is getting people to confess to his murders

>Cruise ship murder
>Columbo: [points to ocean] There's the biggest garbage dump in the world. Why didn't he just throw the gun overboard?
>Robert Vaughn: Well lieutenant I can see you don't know much about ships. He didn't have TIME.
>Columbo: How is that?
>Robert Vaughn: The murder took place during an intermission. Now, a ship is a much larger place than people think. Well maybe.. he left the bandstand, he made his costume change, spent whatever minutes with the girl, then he had to rush back to the bandstand so he wouldn't be late.
>Yes, that sounds very plausible.
>So, he stashed the gun in the nearest convenient place. The laundry room. Right?
>Well why didn't he just open the porthole in the cabin and toss the gun in the water?
>....... the portholes are part of the decor. They don't open.
>Oh, well you know that's a very good theory, that's probably exactly the way it happened. You probably, uh, couldn't tell, but I never been on a boat before. Oh, sir, about your theory... and it's very good. My problem is, I didn't find any prints on the gun.
>He wore gloves
>But if he wore gloves sir, why wouldn't he stash the gloves with the gun in the laundry room?
>Gloves wouldn't be evidence.
>Oh on the contrary sir, if you fire a gun and you're wearing gloves, the outside of the glove will retain a powder mark.
>Well he might not have known that.
>But that still doesn't answer the question of what happened to the gloves. Cause he sure didn't bring 'em back to the bandstand.
>I see. And he couldn't have thrown them overboard, because if he had time to throw the gloves overboard, why not the gun too?
>Exactly, sir.
>Then there were no gloves.
>No gloves..?
>Of course not, don't you see? The gun was found in the laundry room. So he must have used a towel, something like that. And he threw them both in the laundry room, and nobody paid any attention to the towel.
>That's a very good point sir, I'll have to think about that. A towel.

>Columbo: [points to ocean] There's the biggest garbage dump in the world. Why didn't he just throw the gun overboard?
>[Dr. Sam Beckett leaps into the body of Robert Vaughn]
>Robert Vaughn: I don't know.

If you watch jcs you know that this is mostly true

Its the le scary rich people letting them get away it and dumping them in the country by the boat load

While they're at it can they arrest Poirot for being coincidentally 15 feet away from over 600 murders when they were committed.

>Angela Landsbury solves the towns 600 murders out of a population of 10,000

Columbo is making a comeback because it's very comfy television focused mostly around clever dialogue than action scenes. The show was a movie of the week, with pretty high budget so it holds up. The fashion and settings aren't very dated because it mostly focused on high society. There's no episode were Columbo goes to a disco or anything.

The art of comfy escapism seems completely lost to modern television, where everything has to be shocking, or challenging. Sometimes people just want to forget about their troubles and chill out.

I love it