Do you pretend to be happy in your cunt so your family doesn't force you to go to a psychologist?

I care user (I don't of course)

yes, but they are aware of how much a failure I am. And instead of forcing me to do something they're basically just waiting for me to unfuck myself somehow, they even know I have suicidal thoughts but they don't take me seriously

That is why most countries in the world have some form of health insurance. It only works with government regulated prices for medical goods and services, though. Which doesn't exclude private (self-paying) patients and doctors operating outside of that system. If you can afford it, your medical services can always be a little better here.

i could buy insurance if i had some money but even when i was working i just didn't buy insurance because it's expensive. i asked for advice from the suicide hotline and they basically told me fuck all, and "cheap" psychiatrist or whatever here is like $100+ per hour

No
My mum cries sometimes and begs me to go to a psychologist for depression but I tell her I'm fine and any sadness I feel is my fault and it is
Why be weak?

I'm sorry to hear that.
I was unemployed for a year. What happens over here is they bump you down to the cheapest health insurance there is, and the state pays for you. Unemployment benefits run out eventually, but not health insurance.
They don't pay for everything, though. I had to get teeth implants and new glasses. Those costs are not covered by the insurance, I had to save up for that once I got a new job.

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I have my first job interview before my first ever counselling session.
I wish these were reversed.
Anyone have severe anxiety including obsessive intrusive thoughts

was the dentistry expensive? glasses/contacts are cheap at costco here but dentistry can be quite expensive with no insurance.

I paid some 12,000 Euros for the dentist, the glasses were 400. I tried contact lenses and I wasn't happy, I feel better with glasses. Plus you don't have to buy the cleaning solution and keep replacing the (soft) contact lenses with new ones every month.

It's a good thing I am living very modestly and I'm a content person. That way I was able to save up the money with just one and a half years' salary. (I do have expenses for living and a tiny apartment.)

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My mother foes worry over me when she sees I'm sad or frustrated but I tell her I'm fine because I don't want to drop all that bothers me on poor 'ol Mama

I did have some consueling but not for depression but rather related to my Aspergers diagnosis. Honestly it was kinda worthless because when I was saying that I can take care of myself, am putting effort into becoming less socially retarded and consider employment all I would get would be "OHHH SO YOU'RE FINE LAD YOU GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT GOOD FOR YOU" no bitch I'm not fine the fact that I'm not a complete retard and made some inprovements about myself doesn't mean that everything's fucking fine

>I paid some 12,000 Euros for the dentist
damn that must have been quite an operation, i hope your wallet has recovered
>but I tell her I'm fine because I don't want to drop all that bothers me on poor 'ol Mama
iktf user

My wallet hasn't, but thankfully my jaws have.
Also I now know what a "piezo bone saw" is as the surgeon used one on me. It's very, very unpleasant to have that saw out a part of your skull.