ITT: Times that you acted like The Riddler

>?

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> what a desperate attempt
> to appear smart and cool
> to act like a moron
> is to be a sad fool

I went up to MS-13 dressed something like this except more awkward like an atheist in a fedora and I began reciting riddles from the bumper book of puzzles and riddles. They took turns raping me, it lasted days, but the joke was on them because I have hepatitis.

I wouldn´t know.
I didn´t watch The Batman and never will.

that time i was INCEL for 28 years

>See a guy leave his shopping cart in middle of a parking lot driveway
>Trail him home
>Wait until 2 a.m.
>Throw a molotov through his bed room window
AAAAAVEEEE MAAAARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAA

why the fuck did I laugh at this

>mfw mommy doesnt bring the tendies into the light

>parking lot driveway
and with that you're bad

do eurocucks really not have driveways along their parking lots?

kek

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>lose my virginity at 29
SO WHAT I'M STILL A ROCKSTAR I GOT MY ROCK MOVES AND I DON'T NEED YOU

> it's quite simple you'll find
> due to your tiny mind
> you laugh at dumb jokes
> and you're left unrefined

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
NO NO NO MY ESL WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO SHINE THROUGH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>go to high school dance with a girl I have a crush on
>she’s super cute
>she laughs at my jokes and gives me the butterfly eyes
>after the dance we’re alone behind the high school
>she moves her face in to kiss me
>I dodge her kiss because I’ve never kissed a girl and don’t want to embarrass myself
>she rubs my screaming rock hard boner through my pants
>”wanna go somewhere a little more private user?”
>I’m a virgin and don’t want to embarrass myself with my horrible sex skills
>”N-no Miss user. I should probably go home so my parents don’t get mad haha.”
>”That’s a shame. You will call me this weekend won’t you?”
>masturbate to the thought of fucking her but never call her and avoid her in the hallways at school

I have worn a hat before

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>wash my hands
>take a piss
>don't wash hands after

WHEN THE LIGHTS
GO DOWN
IN THE CITY

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>Bring home bread I bought at the store
>Its stale
>Notice that there is sticker where the expiration date should be
>peel it off, Its a day old
>Kidnap the store manager
>Instruct him to drive through the front window of his store if he wants to live
>"Heres a riddle. What looks like a green pineapple, is under your seat, and will explode if you let go the gas pedal?"
NO MORE LIES

>go to taco bell drive thru
>Good day sir, what's sticky, green and wet?
>'Sir please order, this is the lunch rush and there are many cars behind you'
>...I'll have a $5 cravings box with chalupa and baja blast
>pull up to second window and pay, get my food and drink
>shout FIRE IN THE HOLE and throw baja blast back into window, it splashes on the floor as I drive away chortling

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>don't use mask
>go to restaurant
>sit at the table
>put mask on to eat
>take it out when I leave

AND THEY SAAAAAAY THAT A HEEERO WILL SAVE US

Ghastly cells and darkest thought,
Now in past, in present not,
At my largest, hard to spot,
Lot I am; I am the lot.

What am I?

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YEEEEAAAHHHH

A big fat bastard?

>Mommy forgets to make me my tendies
>Throw piss bottle at her and accidentally hit my door