Just this past night, I had a dream about the midge. In this dream...

Just this past night, I had a dream about the midge. In this dream, I was directing some sort of parody film in the style of 2000s Dimension movies, and the ending sequence involved him painfully falling down a flight of stairs, ending up in a bloody heap.
This was also the opening sequence, because the entire movie was about 5 minutes long. The remaining 2 hours were an "after-credits" Jackass montage of me and the rest of the actors and film crew tormenting the midge in all manner of amusing and humiliating ways. The dream ended when I literally laughed myself awake at a part where he was jabbed with a cattle prod while sleeping in his trailer, screaming himself awake.

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That’s fucked up dude. All my dreams about him are romantic like picking him up by the neck and strangling him while I fuck his ass like a fleshlight and we are up on top of a balcony maybe 10 stories high and as soon as I cum I chuck him off the side like a piece of garbage

Late to the party faggot, Warwick is based now, shit on Dinklage if you want

midge

I am really not a fan of Davis... Two years ago I put my baby in the crib and went downstairs. The curious part was I saw my wife breastfeeding the baby in the living room. I went upstairs to check I didn't just imagine it and sure enough little Timmy was in his crib. I headed back downstairs to my wife who was still breastfeeding something. As I approached I noticed the baby in my wifea arms was in fact not a baby, but Warwick Davis. As I start screaming the midge opens his eyes in terror, my wife's succulent juices flowing down his chin. I grab a fireplace rod and as I start to approach he burst out of the baby blanket and dives under the couch. I immediately go after him lifting the couch and throwing my lovely screaming wife to the living room floor. He's shrieking like a vermin, incessantly high pitched noises. I manage to give him three whacks of the rod accompanied with more rat like screeching before he manages to dive out of the dogs door to my lawn. I look at that little imp run as my dogs peck at him all the way to the shrubbery.

That was the day I came to hate that creature. But my wife still leaves some milk outside at night to feed it

>But my wife still leaves some milk outside at night to feed it
Haha fuck dude you’re just going to attract more midges. Here’s a tip, put antifreeze in his milk

We're just breaking balls here, right?

I bet dogs to Warwck are like Horses for us.

With what I've been training my dogs to do to him, I really hope so.

This isn't some fresh new epic pasta, user, I really did have this dream, and I really did chuckle myself awake when he was getting electrocuted.

I wouldn't go round Warwicks house any time soon. Apparently he has rats as attack dogs

I hope this is all just tasteless satire

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Why are there cushions on the tables?

Have you ever seen the indie film The Man From Earth? It's a low-budget film with a bunch of people in a room, talking, with no special effects or real action to speak of. In this film the central figure of John is a supposedly immortal Cro-Magnon who has lived since the last ice age. The idea was first conceived by the author Jerome Bixby.
What people don't know is that Bixby's original idea was somewhat different. See, the film was made only years after his death, and this is because his original screenplay starred not a Homo Sapiens but a Homo Florensis.
A prolific writer of short stories and an active participant in the sci-fi fandom for decades, Bixby stumbled on to a most curious story about these diminutive cousins of ours. You see, it is said that some of these creatures were witnessed alive within living memory, despite them going extinct around 12,000 years ago or so.
An expedition was launched in the late 1970s to Flores in an attempt to prove the verity of such claims. And that, my friends, is how Warwick Davis was first discovered by a white man, found in one of the trap pits they'd built in the jungle.
Bixby was present, and after teaching this creature to speak passing English, they discovered he had in fact dwelt in the jungles by his lonesome for untold ages, the last of his kind but somehow ageless, a white pygmy immortal of sorts.
You see a midget is a sickly thing, prone to dying young and to suffer great pain during that short life in which there is little good. As if in some cosmic balancing of scales God had seen fit to grant this particular one an elongated life, perhaps to see what little good it might do with it's life.
As of now, it has come up short.

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It's those little silicate packets they put in packages to kill mold.

So it was like he was being charged by cavalry as if in the aftermath of some medieval battle where his side lost and were being routed. No wonder the midge was screaming in abject terror.

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The only people that obsess with Davis are manlets who feel better about themselves by making fun of someone shorter than yourselves. What is worst? Is how transparent it all is.

How's your lawsuit going, midge?

exactly