/brit/

>any of you lads ever cheat on your uni work?
Anyone who did computer science will know that the entire degree is just passing round other people's code, editing it slightly and submitting it as your own

when women learn to stop hating men

it's useful to weed out the lower class scum,
see it as a blessing

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we dont talk about phimo no no no

the government owns that water lad, it's their water

they own those molecules

tattoos are sexy af
some (most) piercings are too

continentals will turn their noses up at this

>The company has its origins in the Yorkshire Water Authority, one of ten regional water authorities created by the Water Act 1973, and privatised under the terms of the Water Act 1989, when Yorkshire Water plc, the parent company of the Yorkshire Water business, was floated on the London Stock Exchange.

>t. low class scum

i think thats a russian dish lad

virgins frothing at the mouth and going into seizures at this

*enters thread with a boombox on my shoulder blasting Scorpions - Rock You Like A Hurricane*

foul foreign muck, wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole

Those are Asiatics

Tattoos are fucking awful, no exceptions.
Ear piercings are fine.

my best friend is a tattooer but she knows i dont like tattoos

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> get covid
> order PCR test
> nonce freak roastie postie delivers it to the joint post room which has tons of people working in it
> need to interact with people to get my parcels

Wtf do I do, just go down there and pozz everyone? I have a fever and I’m coughing up a lung every minute

It's fucking snowing lads
Also why the fuck so I keep getting a 400 error that forces me to reload the page 20 times

if my grandad was a soviet soldier I'd be more careful about throwing around accusations like that

Don't think I ever even started a conversation with a girl who had a tattoo.
Remember once some girl from Switzerland was lusting for me and the moment she said she had one, I never talked to her again.

love tattoos
love big blingy jewelry
love big hoop earrings and nose piercings
love over the top make up
love it all

ask someone to drop it up to you

Idk I used to like alt girls when I was younger but I would never date a girl covered in tattoos, some piercings can be hot but if a girl has like tons of them you know she’s a nonce freak who loves anal so isn’t wife material

>being friends with women
why?

yes Deano my lad

over the last few years ive been working on a special diet that makes my poo smell good and i this year i perfected it. my poo has gone from smelling really bad, to not too bad, to good, and now i'd say it's actually amazing. it's good enough that people could burn my shit as a candle to enhance the smell of their homes for when special guests or lovers come over.

started well this post but declined rapidly

Because one day they may get drunk enough to sleep with you

Yeah, would hate to date a girl that loves anal, what a chore

Dave Rorke too scared to face me

it's a way of sneaking having multiple gfs
get to look at them and smell their hair and such

Don't know what it is about Indian girls, their dark complexion; their cute accent; their sweaty body odor; something about them just drives me wild. I just have an urge to breed them.

ive spent a lot of time perfecting my poos not my posts

You would get found out sharpish if you did that at my uni. Our plagiarism detection system was schizophrenic, literally thought everyone was cheating. Apparently I gave my code to some fat lad who I’d never spoken to before

Are you ugly?

going to go back in time and make 9/11 even WORSE

female friends are more rewarding than male friends

male friendships are either the deano types where they spent the whole time doing annoying "banter" shit and one upping each other
or they are the incel virgin freak types where they talk about video games and nothing of substance cause they cannot engage emotionally

ultimately men are in competition with each other so it gets annoying being friends with them

just called GCHQ about this

she wants a man who wears ugg boots to the co op

> talking to people

First of all no thanks and I also don’t know anyone else in my building. Not gonna ring up the reception desk like some normie freak

Guess I’ll just pozz everyone

very based

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Dave Rorke calling people he's never met ugly because he can't face his own existence.

>9/11

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i wear crocs to the shops all the time

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I've arrived

Me? I'd have a, an Apache attack helicopter. Aye. I'd gan back to school. First I'd take oot the labs. RATATATA! And then I'd type into the attack computer 'Mr Cragg, chemistry teacher'. BOOM! Blow him to bits. And then I'd gan looking for Tom Donaldson. I'd be hovering, just doon the road from his hoose, there. And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge. "Hellow, yeh bastard!"' He panics, right, and he gans in the hoose, so I get the 30-millimetre cannon and I take out the fish pond. RATATATA. Koi carp in there, at £40 each, right? And then I just tilt the helicopter over to one side. RATATATATA. And the machine gun bullets is chewing up the drive, right? He comes oot - "Oh no! Not me Triumph Stag! I've just had it resprayed!" RATATATATA. I cut it right in half, right? And then he gans "Ahhh!" He runs up on to the garage roof. I say "Right. This is for you, Tom!" He goes, "No, no!" He's begging us, he's begging us, man. "No! Please! Don't!" ZOOM, BOOM. And then I'd fly off to Cornwall and I'd just smash into the sea in a big ball of flames.

utterly bored at toil because toilberg moved the allotted meeting. so now i'm sat round staring at the walls twiddling my thumbs like a fucking idiot

i can't wait for 9/11 2

love 9/11 as a concept
imagine the imagination to come up with such a plan, the willpower to go through with it
and that's before you get in the spectacle of actually lobbing planes in skyscrapers

I want a girl who’s never done anal before and is like “nooo user that’s where poo comes from” but then you convince her to try and she enjoys it but it’s like just a thing between you two

Personally can’t stand the thought of wifing a girl who’s taken it up the arse from tons of guys

tranny

would you suck a willy

Idk for a given task with a very narrow scope there's only so many ways to approach it
We had Turnitin but a few function name changes usually slipped past it

do some work?

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>planes
holograms

Is 9/11 2 going to be a 25th anniversary thing?

such a fucking virgin mindset state of you

Been shagging an Indian bird these past couple of weekends and let me tell you it's not all that

Out of the question, never, 100% no

did you not hear me mate? toilberg moved our allotted meeting

got one well with girls in primary school. they'd twirl around on the monkey bars and i'd see their knickers . but then we went to secondary and none of them wanted anything to do with me because I didn't get pubes fast enough

so who are you? the annoying deano type or the incel virgin freak type?

never had a male friend who wasn't a backstabbing piece of shit when it come down to business, whether the matter at hand was school, work, business, money or women

female do not compete with you so they have no reason to backstab you

Think this thread needs more gibbymoo or other cut girls

this except without the doing anal part
reckon anyone who feels compelled to go up the bum when there's a vagina right there is a bit latent

> t. never had any real male friends

My friends and I aren’t anything like either of those groups. We just do whatever, can have big nights out, talk about video games, stay in and do drugs, go to festivals, go on holidays

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ah, you're baiting
fair enough, you got me

that's cause you're still 18 years old mate kek

secondary school is when girls stop talking to boys, that's normal, then they start again after a while
I remember when it happened to me, I was very hurt, because I was friends with all of them and suddenly they wouldn't even look at me.

why would you ever want to have sex with a virgin
virgins are terrible at sex
that goes for you too rorke

got my ticket

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>that's cause you're still 18 years old mate kek

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aha look at this fella

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there was a girl in primary school who literally bullied me into going out with her

I didn't get on well with girls at any stage in my life haha :')

you must be a very kind lad
i wouldn't think twice before superspreading

>cut girls
Mate why dont you take your cringe back to bestgore you weirdo

didn't he get cancelled for being a sex pest or something

looks like me nob x

*picks him up with 2 fingers and swallows him whole*

Dave on a mad one last night.

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...

you could have saved Aisha and fixed her
but you didn't

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still working on myself

I tried too actually

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitcairn_Islands

What the fuck.

I knew these islands existed but I didn't know they were literally just paedophile islands.

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HEY

You have no fucking idea what you are talking about.

remember feeling right a right nonce in year 7 when tasked with monitoring the infants and finding them all unbearable cute

> I’ve arrived

And it is now that I perform my charge. In fealty of the God-Emperor (our undying lord) and by the grace of the Golden Throne… I declare exterminatus on the Imperial world of Typhon Primaris.

I hereby sign the death warrant of an entire world, and consign a billion souls to oblivion. May Imperial justice account in all balance, the Emperor protects.

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>Brits go on about fish and chips
>Come to the UK
>It sucks and is soggy as shit compared to Australian fish and chips.

Fresh deep fried crisp chips + Flake >>>>>> Whatever the fuck shit FIsh and soggy Chips are here.

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the only men who prefer friendship with women over men are usually weirdo effeminate freaks

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Tolkien double bill on Film 4 tonight lads. First Hobbit then Tolkien 9pm. Get in.

WAIT

russian boys look like that?!

i will take this tranny sport thing serioualy when i see ftm trannies doing male sport. till then its obviously just a way of cheating.

funniest thing was they couldnt actually put all the men in jail because there was no replacement labour

not worth saving

Idk Muhammad was around a long time ago