You wake up in the glorious country of China (the Middle Kingdom). What is your next step?

You wake up in the glorious country of China (the Middle Kingdom). What is your next step?

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Become a white monkey

>pic
If I wake up in a place like that, I will most likely starve to death
There are not many areas of China where food can grow

Bro just pick up berries

lead a rebellion against the ccp that will result in 350+ millions casualties and 20+ mllions POW devoured alive by the victors

and then you fell off your bed.

I'd rather kill myself than have to live anywhere south of the Yellow river

uhh...I cant be on a bed doing all of this, silly bong

aye that's what she said.

teehee

i ask to be granted refuge

Yeah? Well you already do you dumb cunt

Oh n-

This

umm, it's actually the central kingdom sweetie

I will perform tsaheylu with tall blue aliens while I fuck their brains out under the tree of voices.

Start my wuxia journey.

through an unmarked open manhole

Hmph, you dare look at this young master for more than 2.3 seconds? Courting death!

youtu.be/DOtIgZRNSrs?t=30

Learn to unleash my chi to levitate so I don't have to use their venus flytrap escalators.