>be me
>british "person"
>wake up
>'ave a cuppa
>telly.mp4
>not rubbish programs for once
>get the munchies
>walk across town through daily thunderstorm to petrol station
>hand ova' quid for a baga' crisps
>buy sweetie bar because feeling like a schewpid american today
>back home
>open chocolate bar
>'old on a tick
>check expiry
>it was one month ago
>blimey.png
>the bloody chocolate was past expiry
>chuck it in the bin lad
>trod over the 3rd tesco on my street
>get new sweetie bar
>wait in line
>10 tossers in front
>bugger!
>bloke at the front spends 10 minutes ordering a lotto ticket
>doesn't even end up getting it when he's done
>same things starts to happen with the bloke behind him
>shite
>move to other till because waiting behind a goff with a full trolley must be speedier
>it is
>finally walk home after getting stuck crossing roads
>took so long that I had the bar on me way home
>realize the best part of me morning was the cuppa and telly
>So give me coffee and TV, peeeeeaaacefullyyy
Be me
Literally me
You literally do not suffer
>read American fiction
>understand everything
>read British fiction
>have to google a word every couple paragraphs
I drink English breakfast tea every day desu, it's way too good.
They do it on purpose
this is a superhuman post actually
Do you speak with an American or an English accent irl
I prefer a cup of hot chocolate or cofee, the tea has no flavor at all
I speak English with a horrible Russian accent. But i guess i'm closer to the American pronunciation
What's your most hated British word? for me it's 'snog'
don't worry. If you spend a year in the US speaking only English (and texting/calling back home of course) your English will get extremely good. Many such cases, actually. Have you considered living/studying abroad?
>British literature expands the mind
>American literature is suitable for children/ESLs
Based UK
I don't hate British English, actually i think it's very endearing and beautiful in its own way. For example, recently i was reading a steampunk novel in English and it was written in a distinctly British style, i guess with a purpose to bear a resemblance to classical British novels of the 19th century. Even though i often had to use google to understand some words i've never seen before it was very atmospheric. I can joke about it but in all sincerity i would never hate a language.
Yeah, of course i, just like any other person would easily be able to achieve a high level of speaking proficiency if i were to spend a lot of time in the language environment. Perhaps i will move to Canada in the future, but for now i have no such plans. However, i'm still very young, who knows. Also, moving is an entirely different matter, but if we talk about visiting i will surely visit the US sometime in the future.
I find British fiction incoherent even when I understand the words. For example, Charles Dickens’ The Haunted House makes absolutely no sense.
Nah, American literature can also be very evocative and descriptive. It's just that the content in English is overwhelmingly American and i'm not used to consuming anything distinctly British.
just scranned a microwave chicken burger
time for a fag and a cuppa
afterwards do the dishes
then enjoy this absolute scorcher of a day
Is a belter today actually went in the garden and it was lovely
idk, British English feels too silly, with words like "lorry" for a huge car or "knickers" or "telly" or "bint"
You do on purpose but it has helped me expand my vocabulary
Do you ever think that you think it's silly because you're totally Americanised and mentally colonised
How is knickers any less bizarre sounding than panties to a non native speaker?
I don't get what you mean by 'you do it on purpose'
We speak English on purpose?
could that be because the British literature you read is older and hence you stumble on the antiquated language rather than the specifically British language
Perhaps you're right but i still feel like British literature is in some way different from American literature. And there are certainly some vocabulary differences.
That’s because it’s North America and the city fag shit go to the south lol they use plenty of words u won’t understand also Irish and Scottish Welsh Caribbeans all speak mad
Knickers and telly are slang for pants and television
Bint is also slang, no idea what it means
yeah I don't doubt that
but I have to look up words sometimes myself when I read Dickens and such
Your mum is a bint that's what it means
So do I
No
I think it's just writing style
I just read a book by Bill Bryson who's American (although he has lived in the UK for some years) and he has a very flowery writing style. Same with news reports, BBC tends to like using interesting vocabulary that might go over a lot of people's heads whereas that's not as common for American stuff
I snogged your mum's fanny last night
>the south lol they use plenty of words u won’t understand
You're retarded. They say ain't and y'all and hush. That's it.