/brit/

If you wash your hands after taking a piss, you are irredeemably cucked.

>why yes, i do watch tv dramas. how could you tell?

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...

i piss in the sink me

>earn above the national average income
>projected pension £5k/year paying maximum contributions at my work
What's the point

bout to drop 700 big ones on a chair lads
am i unironically stupid?
its a 12 year guarantee and i basically spend all of my day sitting down because of WFH toil, so ive convinced myself its a worthwhile investment
im being thick though arent i>

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ok woman

>why yes i do look down on watching tv dramas while shitposting on brit
brainlet.jpg

Please explain why you shouldn't wash your hands after touching your dick

made a cup of tea and walked up the stairs

Chav is an extremely hurtful slur, please refrain from using it in the futre.

Doesn't even look comfy

just checked my scottish widows pension and its projecting me something similar
even though im on way above average salary, and contribute 14% of my salary
reckon they're being VERY conservative with their estimates...

It is literally just skin, and clean if you have showered on the same day.

yeah you are, it should have a padded back and it should have a headrest

if a man fondles him bollocks, doesn't wash his hands and I then shake his hand, I've basically just fondled his bollocks. I don't expect people to fondle my bollocks and I don't expect to fondle other peoples. It's give and take, and you're a mouth breathing friendless shut-in if you don't fulfil this courtesy

The real issue is the ability or impossibility to "try before you buy".

I guess you could return it if it didn't work, but it's so much simpler to try things and decide if you actually want them before you buy them.

Because something like a chair will be very individualized in terms of what you're looking for and how comfortable it is to YOU

went to try it at john lewis last weekend and it was comfy

>why yes i do seethe when exposed as a lower-class mongoloid. how could you tell?

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Emma Watson just farted her arse out.

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any prefer to use urinals chad in

Sex

>why yes i do seethe when my non existant life beyond Any Forums is exposed how could you tell?
brainletwithbrainthesizeofapea.jph

Actually more of a small willy hiding in the cubical man myself

see
i went to try it last weekend
granted I wasnt sat in it for hours on end, but it was comfy compared to the others i tried

TV is for pakis, gays and women
Which are you?

Jack O’Connell is 5’8.

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They're right about it being cruel.

dave started fuming because people watch tv

god i need to get to watching evangelion

never heard of him

Literally who

>n-no ur seething
You can tell this creepy weirdo is a TV mong. Literally nothing original or imaginative about him at all.

I sometimes get angry on Any Forums, but then I remember that the person I'm arguing with is likely an actual virgin. Literally never even brushed against a vagina, pathetic.

poo

used them too, but later began to use urinals and it's better in every aspect
you don't touch anything, don't have to flush anything

zoomers

>imagine being such a pathetic specimen that you get outraged that someone can watch tv
just remarkable the kind of cave dwelling denizens that inhabit this place. he's probably going to argue against sunlight next

>but in reality black people in Britain are just white British people with a different skin colour

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Posted on Any Forums

>The Chicago Gaylords, also known as the Almighty Gaylords, is a Chicago street gang which was most active during the mid and late 20th century.

>The Gaylords grew in the 1960s as middle class whites left for the suburbs, leaving poor whites behind to fend for themselves in increasingly African American city slums. At the height of the Gaylords reign in 1979, they were listed as the fourth most powerful gang in Chicago with about 1,500 members and were noted as "Chicago's largest white street gang...considered a violent, bigoted outfit."

Stop arguing with yourself schizo

dont use urinals or cubicles myself
just do it in the bin
saves the hassle really

this is just like oasis
youtube.com/watch?v=7CGfvpMyGng

Might wank the ol willard

user getting a job, hanging out with his friends, getting a girlfriend, and slowly spending less and less time on /brit/ as time goes by

Actually, these days it's the white, working class British people who are just black people with a different skin colour.

So this is Dave...

-Angry and abrasive at all times. Seems to look for arguments and is obsessed with leftypol. genuinely believes they organise invasions 3 days a week.

-Hates London with a passion. Previously fixated on a "dumb london paki" character he created in his head. believes multiple people are the same person. Also regularly lashes out at australians, the irish, canadians, yanks, anyone who isn't a northerner

-If a thread isn't entertaining him, will constantly complain about how boring and reddit it is.

-Will eventually resort to calling you a paki in literally any argument as he gets increasingly agitated. Favourite insults are variations of "paki bastard"

-Will never stop replying to you until he gets the last word. Will argue for hours over multiple threads and holds grudges for days.

-When losing an argument, will usually resort to posting reaction images while greentexting. Favourites include Bradley Walsh, Orson Welles and David Mitchell. Also samefags his own posts regularly

Some of his favourite reaction images. Will likely change filenames after being exposed. Note his distinctly obnoxious posting style, constant state of anger and disturbing fixation on pakis.

Literally could not give a fuck about your piss, stop fucking talking about it. You gonna start talking how your period's are synchronised. Fucking vile cunts.

Have you tried any lower priced alternatives?

Honestly it's not a terrible thing to spend money on, judging the sheer amount of time you spend in a chair.

But you still want to get the best value possible, and if a £500 chair does the job there's no reason to buy a £700 chair.

I'd just make sure you've tried all the options and if you are convinced the £700 model offers what the cheaper ones don't, then go for it.

I mean, people spend $1000 on a phone these days so it's really not that crazy. It's a multi-year investment into something that sees daily and constant use

does anyone else just yell gay really loudly like they got tourettes in public places for the lulz?

I just piss myself

Fuck it says I need to contribute an extra £800 for every year I missed

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you should to invest at least 15% of your salary into your retirement.

avoid using urinals because when I was little my friends would make fun of my abnormally large willy

like your thinking lad
might try this myself next time

go outside

oh yeah that time when the uk and usa agreed to exterminate the german race but only held back because they realised the russians would easily sweep in and conquer the entire world afterward

Instead of typing all that out, you could have used it more productively and jumped off a bridge.

can proudly say my willard has never been wanked. as fresh as a green banana in that state of purity

I don't need a pension because I can just wait and inherent all of my family's houses

>sits all day watching the idiot box
>calls others cave dwellers
Shitskin logic

who was the first pornslag you lads wanked your wilbert over?

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down

if men are nofapers and don't have sex they have "periods"
I'm not about wet dreams, but about differences between hormonal leves and flat lines

im ready

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>sits all day shitposting on the idiot site
>calls out people brainlets
womanlogic

lord of the ring sting lol

This is dave:

desuarchive.org/_/search/filename/1424668054532/image/SLUfHB/9aidLBxNneT8QYA==
desuarchive.org/_/search/filename/1363983368744,0/image/rMTdVZeQ0D3cDMze0wHD3A/
desuarchive.org/int/search/filename/laffing/image/PXgPv61lJakzVU6IbsQFug/
desuarchive.org/int/search/filename/laff/image/4gNDBTP6MmCYGuL7xiQTDA/
desuarchive.org/_/search/filename/efrgts/image/9ni8QzI8wuLjWd5Z6_aJ9g/
desuarchive.org/_/search/filename/top kek/image/K4SnCwMx19bkeh8KxcWurA/
desuarchive.org/int/search/filename/kenankek/image/RMOiGeNs-yPMdLWJRnNoXQ/
desuarchive.org/_/search/filename/t.jpg/image/v_PkxVSENCL3z7hIoSgDhQ/

Also posts on /sp/ and Any Forums, and Any Forums. Apparently can't stop obsessing over pakis, reddit and niggers no matter what board he's on.

archive.4plebs.org/_/search/filename/laffing/image/PXgPv61lJakzVU6IbsQFug/
archive.4plebs.org/_/search/filename/laff/image/4gNDBTP6MmCYGuL7xiQTDA/
archive.4plebs.org/_/search/filename/1424668054532/image/SLUfHB_9aidLBxNneT8QYA/
archive.4plebs.org/_/search/filename/1363983368744,0/image/rMTdVZeQ0D3cDMze0wHD3A/
archive.4plebs.org/_/search/filename/efrgts/
archive.4plebs.org/_/search/image/v_PkxVSENCL3z7hIoSgDhQ/

some literal who model in a lads mag, god knows who

Israel has a birth rate of 3.1 and it's held firm at that level for decades. What's their secret?

Think it was her from ideepthroat or something

i genuinely hate germans. ive noticed a running theme with them online and in person, they cannot take criticism for the life of them. They're masters of deflection, it must be a cultural thing. But every time you bring up a valid criticism of Germany, you're either "wrong" or "misunderstood" and they continue on to deflect onto others. Such an obnoxious people

I notice pakis love shit TV like Homes Under the Hammer and Loose Women

YOU'VE GOT NO CELERY???
WHERE'S YOUR LAMB JOINTS???
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'VE GOT NO GRATED MATURE CHEDDOHH??
IS THAT GETTING MARKED DOWN??
YOU GOT NO MORE WARBIES?? THIS ONE'S STALE!!

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this site made a social media from Any Forums

>Google: big tits
First result

how little self awareness does one need to have to spend your days shitposting on Any Forums and then to look down on other people's hobbies? it's like amer going around looking down on people for having fun in pubs or clubs lol

first coom I ever had was when nothing came out and I spent like 2 hours lying in bed watching step-sister coerced porn where there was a girl with leopard underwear and a proper fat based. was watching on my ipod and then I accidentally pulled my willard on the bedsheets and coomed. never been able to find the video. It was before step-sis porn took off, it was low quality when I watched it and it was amateur so it's proper buried by this point.

And dramas like Chloe whatever the fuck that is.

I will not watch anything with Andy Samberg in it. No siree Bob. Not happening, not now, not ever. Hate the little rat face cunt mong.

I remember the first time I tried wanking and I ended up pissing instead

wow who'd have thought the people from the country that started not one but two world wars are a bunch of snotty twats with no sense of humour

ah yes
this dave. is he in the room with us right now?

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woman: the post

THIS SOUP IS COLD
WHAT IS THIS?
WHERES THE WAITER?
I DIDNT GET MY BREAD, WHAT KIND OF PLACE DOESNT GIVE OUT BREAD?

This is the expected pension payment I receive if I retire 100% at age 67 assuming I have a very moderate salary of £50,500 GBP per year until retirement.
It translates to £1672 GBP per month in state pensions, not including any other private retirement schemes.

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>watching gay cunt bbc programs is a hobby
What a tragic fucking runt this wog is

>shitposting on Any Forums is a hobby
this is your brain on dave

Halal Potter and the Philosopher's Stoning
Halal Potter and the Chamber of Virgins
Halal Potter and the Prisoner of Al-Qaeda
Halal Potter and the Goblet of Curry
Halal Potter and the Order of the Jihad
Halal Potter and the Inbred Sheikh
Halal Potter and the Deathly Hadiths

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

ok, I'm sorry for this

> very moderate salary of £50,500 GBP
piss off stupid cunt