Who did Iroh fuck in order to make Lu Ten? Why is she not once mentioned in the entire series?

If anything iroh at least loved his immediate family regardless of what crimes he did. Ozai wouldn't mourn a dead kid. Only grumble that it was a minor set back

Doesn't he mention his wife in that one letter he narrated during his original siege of Ba Sing Se

I assume she died of age.

because women aren't important.
we only tell them they are so we can get laid.
but everyone knows the truth.

I would figure Iroh fucked around a lot, and Lu Ten’s mother was just some faceless consort who wasn’t any closer to him than the countless other women he’s fucked.

Iroh as we see him as an old man is a cool guy, full of compassion, but his past before Lu Ten’s death is a little murky. We don’t know much of what he was like before his big turnaround except that he nearly conquered Ba Sing Se. He coulda been a huge asshole before turning over a new leaf and I would not be surprised if Young Iroh knocked up a whore, claimed the kid, and then lost touch with her.

We also know that even in old age, one of his few vices left is that he is a shameless flirt and a borderline lecher. It was likely he was a huge player at some point.

I think Iroh loved his family but was also totally drinking the fire nation kool aid. Didn’t he write hopeful comforting letters constantly while on the front line? He just realized he was being kind of a jerk enslaving people later on

I actually think it’d be an interesting mirror to Zuko’s character arc if Iroh also at one time experienced a huge epiphany and a dramatic personality shift. Who knows, maybe that just runs in the family.

Everything we see pretty much implies Iroh is about as solid a dude as an Imperial General can be. As feint praise as that is.
Didn't hunt the Dragons to extinction for petty glory
Takes time to keep up with the family and send gifts.
Respects his enemies
Even before Lu Ten's death he wasn't a horribly cruel person or anything just willing to buy into the propaganda because he hadn't really suffered from it in any real capacity.

This. At most, Iroh might have been a bit more hot-tempered, but more akin to post-turncoat Zuko than "MUH HONOR" Zuko.

Yea, hard to say. We know Azulon preferred Iroh for the throne not just because he was the firstborn, but also just his prowess, and presumably having the kind of temperament fit for being Fire Lord. And given how Azulon was like "You what, nigga?" when Ozai talked about skipping Iroh, it definitely spoke a lot about how much respect there was for him.

kek