>GENERAL CROZIER: Gentlemen, we have disturbing news. It seems Toki Wartooth has adopted a small kitten. Here to tell us more is renowned feline analyst Felix Purrsian. >FELIX: It seems the cat has been named Sehkmet after a particularly amusing sneeze from William Murderface. The kitten has captivated millions--cat sales have exploded across the nation, and no less than five cat species have gone extinct in the wild from illegal poaching. There are already reports of a movie being made, and most disturbing of all, Dethklok has announced an album dedicated to the creature. >CARDINAL RAVENWOOD: This has-a ill portents for us all. Too much adoration being leveled on-a cats manifests in-a strange ways. We are already hearing reports of the dead rising on the Nile, and it is only a matter of time before the Lion Goddess a-rises from her tomb. Millions will-a die. >GENERAL: Let me send in my team. I can have that cat dispatched within the hour. >SALACIA: No... we wait...
SCENE: DETHKLOK LIVING ROOM >TOKI: He is real cutes cats but he kinda stupids
Bumping for interest >Roxxo gives the cat cocaine and it fucks a bunch of other cats before its head explodes
Asher Taylor
>oh ja havs a facking cat? Thatz like the gayest pet ever Toki, gets a real animal that can brings the bitches like a snakes or tigers. Cats are for retired old bitches nobodies wants to have sexs with.
I feel like the episode ends in a slow zoom up an altar where the googley-eyed kitten is watching human sacrifices in its honor. While the song of the episode plays of course.
Elijah Miller
Dude cats are f**king metal as f**k. When I was a kid I saw my neighbor's cat f**king tackle a bird to the ground and rip it's f**king wings off. Then it got off the bird and watched it f**king crawl away from it while chirping for it's mom before it finally died. And the cat just left it there, didn't even eat it.
Why was the doomstar requiem so hated by so many people?
Easton Campbell
Aw f**k man, I just googled "cat information" and f**king hell you weren't kidding. Check this out: they have retractable penises. C-can you imagine that? Like, your peepee slides inside you when you ain't using it? F**k I could use a retractable penis. Also their saliva is poison. That would be good to.
Gentlemen, your new pet has caused something of a stir. Our stocks are soaring with your announcement of an album for the kitten. So maybe you should... go make the album. Soon. It has been uh, about a year since your last one.
