The Mario movie is already fucked

>be me
>Surprised there was no info on the Mario movie on Mar10.
>Googles the Mario movie
>Looks at the directors
>Feels dread
Now I know why Charles Martinet is just doing cameos, this movie is going to be a fucking train wreck. He probably outright refused to do it and settled for cameos because miyamoto sold out or caved in and let them fuck over everything that makes Mario likeable. The directors are from teen titans go, there's the first red flag, the second is that according to leaked merchandise, the characters might be getting a redesign and judging this is illumination we're talking about, it's probably already going to be fucking terrible.

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You only just found this stuff out, user?

Yes, sadly. I should've done it earlier.

I already knew its fate the moment the cast was revealed. This is the first time Sonic contorts Mario's ass in forever.

>He probably outright refused to do it and settled for cameos

No, they wanted someone who sells tickets and a big star.

One reason and Charles probably took a look at it and he knew it would probably kill his career.

Honestly, I hope the Mario movie fails so it just gets retconned to oblivion and they never trust hollywood again.

>Looks at the directors
>Feels dread
Boo fucking hoo some shitty property gets a shitty movie
I never understood the appeal of Mario among anyone who isn't a fan of sugary snot faggy shit
Sonic is cool
Kirby has "dude he is totally a superpowered cosmic ultra being" going for him
Mario is a cartoony bumbling fat faggot who looks lame and does lame toddler babby googoogaga shit in every media he is in. His games are lame, his characters are lame, his worlds are lame and look like down syndrome toddler's playroom. He sucks ass and I never understood his popularity in any fucking era of gaming besides just being kid friendly and cartoony.
Even more bizarre are the autismos who try to work Mario into something "cool" like DBZ rip offs or pseudo-serious fan fiction. He is the opposite of cool and imposing/heroic, he is a baby's chew toy.
Fucking Wario has a better, cooler take on a character, being a fucking goon and a scoundrel who only cares about gold and himself. He has an appeal of being a dick in a fun, wacky, powerful and entertaining way. Mario is a prissy faggot.

THIS SUMMER

Swing your arms from side to side.

BING BING

WAHOO

>The Virgin Mario
>The Chad Wario

Mario's just a competitive and competent guy who likes adventure and sports
Wariofags are coping tryhards who think they're interesting for picking a fat ugly jew to get attention for their contrarianism
They don't even like Wario, they just pretend to because of a forced meme on Any Forums about Mario Kart players
Pathetic, truly

but the mayro go bing bing wahoo.

>The Brad Luigi
>The Thad Waluigi

>Mario and Luigi are playing videogames
>"Mario, can i be the player one this time?"
>"Pfft, in you dreams bro"!
>"Ow..."

You WILL lay witness to Mario saying "bruh" while Luigi flosses
You WILL see the marketing being spammed everywhere
You WILL buy the soundtrack CD consisting of rap music and annoyingly catchy sugar pop songs.
You WILL buy the 1000+ pieces of merchandise
You WILL watch this movie and you WILL be happy

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>Meanwhile...
It's like the movies are a look into an alternate universe where Sonic is king and Mario is a laughingstock.

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Only pathetic manbabies who stopped mentally aging at 13 think Mario isn't cool.

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>I'm telling ya', if you are not watching the Super Mario Movie you are gonna turn into a goomba

I hope it succeeds and proves all you pessimists wrong. As if Nintendo didnt learn from the previous Mario movie. As if they’re not on Illumination’s asses to not deviate too much from the established lore of Mario. As if they didnt pick Illumination because of their cheap budgets compared to Disney or Pixar or Dreamworks.

I had hope until the revealed the voice actors
I'll just pirate the Japanese or Italian dubs and watch with English subs

We already know it's going to be shit. On top of everything else, Charlie Day confirmed all the voice actors are going in blind and being told to say countless iterations of random shit alone in a vault that will eventually be spliced into an audio track for the movie. No organic conversations, no earnest character development, and the actors don't even have context for their lines. All in the name of Nintendo and Disney's God, Secrecy. Because not letting anyone know what a movie is about is somehow supposed to sell a movie.
#NoSpoilers

t. Wario

i think the really sanitized look of the new ones isn't cool.

i'd be ok with the movie being mostly silent

>Sonic is cool
He's cool if you're a literal child.

>The game that made Miyamoto have an aneurysm because the developers sneaked in the Rosalina storybook against his wishes
Mario hasn't been cool since at least SMG1.

They pulled their heads out of their asses with Odyssey and started doing weird shit again