Have you ever met a famous musician?

never talk about my close personal friend nick mullen like that ever again

haha look its a podcaster!

I'm glad I cheated on you with a tiny-dicked Asian man.

um...you're chinese

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also forgot to add that oi i'm gay

>despite
Because. When your an actual gnome and have nothing going for you, just try to be funny so people don't instinctively kick you to the curb.

I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

I met Brandon Boyd in a bar once. He's nice and all, but he doesn't talk like a normal person. He speaks like a fucking chipmunk.

I met bladee

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In 2005, I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind a Ross Dress for Less. Man, his ass could grip. Real tight, not a hair on it, and a sphincter you could only dream of. I had fun at first. But he was so weirdly macho about it. He kept saying things like "thats right bitch, am I gonna make you nut?" and "fucking fag I bet you can't wait to bust in my fat hairy man ass hahaha faggot". I just ignored him and kept railing. He continued unironically calling me his bitch and a fag as he had several hands free prostate orgasms spilling seminal fluids onto the train tracks, getting more angry and dominant after each one. "Yea i bet you like dudes. You look like a pussy" he'd say "I cant even feel your limpdick bitch." I just kept clapping, wondering wtf is up with him. After about 20 minutes of railing Mike's boypussy, drenched in sweat and his cream, I finally got a nut off despite his constant berating and degrading comments. He immediately hopped off, laid flat on his back and bent his legs over his head so the cum dripped out of his asshole directly into his mouth. "The fuck you looking at? You like this gay boy?" He kept saying. After he got every last drop. He cackled like a rooster and punched me in the face as hard as he could. He nearly broke his hand, but I was fine. "Fucking fag" he said as he limped off into the sunset, shaking his wrist. That was the first and last time I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind the Ross Dress for Less

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>Have
Tony got off his skateboard and stared directly at me with his bright red eyes. He laid his skateboard down facing the camera and stood back on slowly.

The music bass boosted, to the point where it's unrecognizable.

Tony Hawk pushed off and ollied through my TV screen.

The glass from my TV shattered and showered my carpet.

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT PLAYING THE PLAYSTATION VERSION." Tony Hawk screamed.

The extremely bass boosted music tore up my shorts and underwear.

Tony Hawk's ollie landed his skateboard right into my asshole. I screamed in pure agony as hyper realistic blood splashed from my anus. The board kept drilling deeper until it was so far up my ass, stimulating my prostate, going so deep that I began throwing up actual shit.

Tony Hawk was so professional, he was able to use anything as a skate park, even my ass.

"I AM MORE THAN A PRO SKATER." Tony Hawk said before I passed out from blood loss.