Had the first enema of my life about an hour ago. My legs have only just started regaining sensation...

Had the first enema of my life about an hour ago. My legs have only just started regaining sensation. Post your shit stories. I'll start with mine.

>Guts have been feeling terrible for about a week
>Hippy friend suggests that an enema would straighten my shit out
>At this point I'm in enough constant discomfort that I decide it's worth a try
>Get everything set up, already have a tube to put up my asshole, just a normal water enema
>Warm water goes into ass - strange feeling of fullness, warmth and comfort
>amigaynow.jpg
>Lay on my side for about 30 minutes to let it do its thing

>Feel a rumble in the jungle
>It is time
>Start running shower, squat over drain hole

>BRAAAAAAAAAAP

>After the initial gas bubble, the shart gets wetter and wetter. Sloppier.
>Chunks are audibly pattering onto the tiles while I blast the brown liquid out of my ass
>black, ancient residual guano from the walls of my cave all around my feet
>smell is ungodly - all sour rancid fat and stale shit, mixed in with a tinge of copper
>legs feel like jelly from the huge output
>fall on my ass in the shit chunks
>use my feet to break up chunks so they'll smoothly run down the drain while continuing to spurt from my ass
>incredible feeling of relief builds up as I finish
>deep sense of everything being right with this world
>whatever was irritating my guts is gone now, haven't felt better in a long time
>gag from the smell while i sit there under the hot water for a while after cleaning up
>get up when legs begin to work and write this

Attached: d2bbf46846c678500b869421f91e91b3.png (638x500, 415.88K)

white australia is right australia

How do you give yourself an enema?

>black, ancient residual guano
op is a dark mad poet

same way you'd siphon your neighbour's fuel tank but the business end of the tube goes up your ass

How hard did it make you cum?

I used to stomp my shit down the shower drain so frequently that I'd be buying drain cleaner from Bunnings every couple of weeks, but it also meant I got a sausage sizzle on a routine basis

>a sausage sizzle
a what

That'll teach you to not eat like shit.
Hopefully you learn from this

come for the snags, stay for the cheap plasterboard

Exactly what I said, ya cunt

snag on bread with tomato sauce cunt

and onions ON TOP NO EXCEPTIONS

Why in the world did you go into your shower and not the toilet?!

Also how much water did you put in there?!

You shouldn't be doing more than around 250ml (ie, about a glassful).

go the dead horse cunt

Fuckers in school telling me, always in the barber shop Chief Keef ain’t bout this, Chief Keef ain’t bout that My boy a BD on fucking Lamron and them He, he they say that nigga don’t be putting in no work SHUT THE FUCK UP! Y'all niggas ain’t know shit All ya motherfuckers talk about Chief Keef ain’t no hitta Chief Keef ain’t this Chief Keef a fake SHUT THE FUCK UP Y'all don’t live with that nigga Y'all know that nigga got caught with a ratchet Shootin' at the police and shit Nigga been on probation since fuckin, I don’t know when! Motherfuckers stop fuckin' playin' him like that Them niggas savages out there If I catch another motherfucker talking sweet about Chief Keef I’m fucking beating they ass! I’m not fucking playing no more You know those niggas role with Lil' Reese and them.

wtf

Attached: OIP (11).jpg (474x710, 31.74K)

Attached: 1643305968629.jpg (720x793, 68.65K)

Mad lad here with the Donna quotes.

Love it.

The satisfaction of dropping a squat and fucking blasting it out. It was worth it tbh.

You can buy 'Fleet' from any pharmacy. Throw the liquid out! All you want is the bottle.

Use only warm (NOT hot) water. That's enough to get everything out. The water should be comfortable to the touch.

Lube up with water-based lube.

Very carefully insert the business end of the Fleet bottle into your entrance. It should slip in effortlessly; If you're forcing it in, you're doing something wrong. Try bending your legs into foetal position, and inserting at an angle parallel with your spine. If it doesn't slip in effortlessly, change angle and try again.

Once inserted fully, squeeze in the water.

If you can raise your legs over your body somehow (like lie on the ground with your legs up on a chair), that would help. Stay there for just about five to ten minutes. Once you stand upright again, you should feel the urge to immediately egest.

Go to the TOILET (not the shower...) and let it all go.

Once you've passed it all out, then you take a shower.

You might be having some continued water leaking out for maybe an hour or so; don't be alarmed. Your colon will eventually absorb the excess water and you'll be fine.

>Not using Fanta for enema

You fucked up bro, you could have had a fizzybum orgasm from the gasses rumbling your prostate.

Sometimes I use sparkling water if I want to align my chakras.

Attached: images.jpg (194x194, 7.49K)