"bro you're supposed to do self improvement for your SELF not for others bro"
this is normalfag sophistry at its finest. its a completely meaningless statement
the usual context of this is someone asks the question "if i self improve will i get a gf and/or friends?"
the only realistic answer is maybe, maybe not, it depends
of course normalfags can't take the risk that their favored cope might not be a fucking panacea, and that they might not be all knowing and all seeing, so instead of even taking the chance they might have to admit that self improvement might not get you what YOU want (a gf, friends), because that will improve your life, they redefine the term based on some distinction that doesn't fucking matter at all. self improvement has an asterisk added, it doesn't count if it involves interacting with anyone else in any capacity, because... reasons
say you go to college, learn a bunch of shit, buy a nice shirt, and land a six figure job. is anyone going to say "noooo that's not self improvement it was for your employer not yourself!!!11!!1" because this is the exact same fucking logic
it's just a completely retarded line of reasoning
remember, your aspirations are stupid, unlike theirs. better you go to the gym and become the embodiment of the fucking under armour wojak, or better yet, jerk yourself off with other gymcels and admire each others gains. bunch of fucking faggots. that will bring meaning to your life, unlike the things that you actually want.
but why? because its "for yourself" whatever that means? i think more likely it's because that's safe, simple and easy. there is no objective measure of success or failure. everyone gets a trophy, so to speak. ultimately, like with many of the things they say and do, it just comes down to the complete inability of normalfags to accept that life isn't always fair
Fucking normalfags
Genuinely if you have to self improve for others then just give up, you already failed and no matter what you do you'll never achieve anything.
Normalfags get friends and relationships just by existing, do you think they ever had to self improve?
There's zero point in self improvement if you want friends and a girlfriend since you won't get it anyway, only reason left then is to do it for yourself.
Why do you need some dumb whore to appraciate you to be happy? Learn skills and improve your body if it makes you happy, otherwise just give up because it won't make you achieve anything at this point anyway.
didnt read but did u try beeing urself
This. OP calm down and just open up a bit. I am sure there is a nice person underneath all that rage. I recommend taking tango lessons as means of becoming yourself. I know you've got it user cheers!
I'm the user from the self improvement thread who made the first post you're probably ranting about.
>its a completely meaningless statement
>the usual context of this is someone asks the question "if i self improve will i get a gf and/or friends?"
>the only realistic answer is maybe, maybe not, it depends
The point I was trying to make is that yes, normalfags don't have to create goals/plans to make friends and girlfriends. If you try your hardest to make friends and girlfriends and you can't, then there's no point in caring about them. They won't give a shit about you. The only person who will ever give a shit about you, should be YOU. Self improvement is a selfish thing. Normalfags obviously tell you to "self improve" when you ask them how to get friends/girlfriends, as a way of letting you know that they don't really care about your problems and this is a hand wavy way of telling you. If you work out, you should get endorphins from doing it. If you have interesting hobbies, then you can be engaged in them and be happier. It is way better than jacking off, getting drunk, high, playing vidya, and doing whatever you can to numb your negative emotions. The loneliness will subside if you do it right.
And if after all of this, after years of self improvement, you are still miserable as before...then you have the option to an hero. You don't owe anyone your life, and you don't owe reality your life. It is YOUR life, do with it as you please.
the secret is going out, doing something your passionate about, putting in earnest effort every day, gaining experience and perspective, collaborating with others and growing to be a reliable and self-assured person. Shutting out the world and completing a laundry list of self-improvement activities like it's some kind of alchemical recipe for summoning a gf is the wrong way to go about it. Nobody cares about your muscles, champ
yes, with disastrous results
tangomaxxing has been fruitless as of yet, thinking of switching to salsa
thats fair. just fyi this wasnt directed at you specifically, ive heard this line a million times and usually it just comes across as a bullshit soundbite
you can self-improve all you want wrt being healthy and getting paid, but if you're still a bitter person, self-improvement will do jack shit for getting you meaningful relationships
>thats fair. just fyi this wasnt directed at you specifically, ive heard this line a million times and usually it just comes across as a bullshit soundbite
Yeah I totally get it. When normalfags talk about "self improvement," they usually don't even do it themselves. Most people don't work out, have interesting hobbies, wake up at 4:00 AM to get on the grindset. They just flow. It's a way for them to tell losers to quit complaining because normalfags feel inconvenienced by the fact that there's someone that is a loser talking about their loserdom.
>Normalfags get friends and relationships just by existing, do you think they ever had to self improve?
What do you think they self-improve for then? Why are they taking classes and going to the gym?
>tangocels still seething over squarechads
There are no panaceas. There are no promises. Nobody is guaranteed "friends" or "a gf", as if they were things you can have, rather than something you do with people.
It's a mix of something-scale autism and childishness. Some anons need to grow the fuck up. Real-life experience will hasten this process more than any amount of whining will.
If you really can't see the point of living for your own sake, of doing things for your own sake, of making your life better for yourself, without any sort of promise you'll get something out of it, then you've already lost. That mindset is what dooms you. THAT is why you're going to be alone, if alone is what you're going to be.
First, you need to be the sort of person that others would enjoy having as a friend. That includes, most of all, being genuinely interested in people for their own sake, as they are, not as some adjunct to your life, some stat-boost to your party. Life isn't transactional and it's not a fucking RPG! People are not fungible. Nor, especially, is love. Or sex.
There's only one game in town, play it, don't play it, up to you. Bitching about it brings you here, and keeps you here. If you want more, you will have to take risks. Even small ones can be rewarding. You get no guarantee nor training wheels.Try laughing more. Develop a sense of humour and don't take shit so fucking SERIOUSLY!
They take classes because it is expected of them.
Most normalfags do not go to the gym and if they do then they simply want to self imrpove their body however it's not something they do in order to obtain something as basic as friends, the very concept of not having anyone is alien to them in the first place.
Let me tell you a story user.
>Be in a wheelchair
>Cannot walk
>End up having to use arms to wheel myself everywhere
Now, we can respond in one of two ways.
>Do this every day and eventually get strong enough to get most places normies can get to
>Had to work harder than all the normies but in the end it wasn't that big of a deal, plus I got gains
Or:
>Cry over normies who can just walk places
>Completely disengage and end up doing even less exercise than people who can walk fine
>Complain that you're too weak to pull yourself everywhere and this never would've happened if you'd just been born with better legs
>When people tell you to work out more and go places more call it 'normie advice' because you tried it exactly one time and it was hard
>They take classes because it is expected of them.
No, it isn't. Classes aren't nearly as full as gyms
>if they do then they simply want to self imrpove their body
There's your answer
Normalfags are not only are clueless, but they don't want WANT to see through their own bullshit, why? Not only it takes some actual thinking and that is too much effort, but because that narrative suits them.
Good looking and outgoing normie without autism or any disorders does X and gets Y, therefore, he believes the everyone that does X gets Y. The world is not actually so simple, but they don't want to see that, because they need deviants and losers to look down upon.
Every time someone says that he can't get a gf or friends or whatever, they will spew their bullshit simplistic recipe of going out, hitting the gym or whatever and even if a robot follows it to the letter and don't get Y, they will say if didn't try enough, or make some bullshit about how you did it wrong somehow, because they NEED to blame you for everything bad that happens to you.
By blaming you for not beeing yourself enough, for not touching grass at right angles, for not self improooving for yourself, even thought they said you should do it to be more attractive to other people, because it worked for them and for chad, they are reaffirming your position as a lazy loser that deserves everything bad, they reaffirm their satisfying view of themselves as someone that is deserving of good things, that has worked hard and was become a winner through their own merits and not a silver of luck in the lottery of life, lastly, they also reaffirm their belief that they should keep following the current norms, their current lifestyle and philosophy.
Don't disagree with everything there, people should learn to live for themselves at the best of their ability, but you can't deny that humans are social creatures and as much as we fight against our biology, its only natural to long for some level of socialization, its only natural for a lonely person to ask advice on how to make friends, on normies on the internet love to regurgitate the same recipes.
>Most people don't work out
From personal experience, only people older than 35. Younger than that are all about working out, talking about muh reps, muh sets seriously it's just annoying. Because of women fitness popularity has skyrocketed recently because it's basically a requirement nowadays to be fit if you're single unless of course you're blessed with good genetics.
stay lame then, more pussy for me
I think there's crossed wires over what "self improvement" means. To me, it's getting help with your mental health, which might even be a book. Though you might be able to get some free clinic, or pay for it if you're one of those depressed children of rich people. Bet that's nice.
The alternative to that, is not to. To stay the same, to make no effort to improve one's mental health. Go back to square one, stay there.
Work can actually help. Don't go crazy, part-time is plenty. Just cos it gets you into the normal-person community, you'll get into meaningless chit-chat and feel comfortable doing it. This is an important skill because nobody goes straight from strangers to friends. You need the little drops of oil to lubricate socialising. I chat to strangers all the time. 95% of it never ends up as anything more than that, but that's good for it's own sake. Makes you feel more part of the human race, makes you feel less alienated. That you're actually more "normal" than you thought. And you can make contact with somebody even if you never see them again.
Once got in a conversation sat on a bench, with a guy who was dying of cancer, had a few weeks left. He didn't mind, his family had all died before him. Then another guy came along, Irish truck driver, showed us photos of his travels round Russia and it's environs (before the current unfortunateness). Was a nice way to spend an hour. It didn't gain me anything, I didn't accrue friends. In fact it was better as strangers, it's a lot easier to talk about death and cancer and life with people you won't see again, there's no investment so no risk. Not that that should be your only socialising, of course.
But you can make friends this way, rarely, if you get talking regularly and find you and some person have a lot to talk about, get their number, hang out. Don't go *looking* for it, don't expect it, cos that's a bit hungry, but if it happens it'd be nice.
>First, you need to be the sort of person that others would enjoy having as a friend. That includes, most of all, being genuinely interested in people for their own sake, as they are, not as some adjunct to your life, some stat-boost to your party. Life isn't transactional and it's not a fucking RPG! People are not fungible. Nor, especially, is love. Or sex.
You're right for everything except this. Life is transactional. You talk about how people don't get friends because they're interesting or funny or laid back but then immediately say that it isn't transactional. You are giving your PERSONALITY in exchange for someone else's personality. It is an RPG, but most people are able to live life without ever having to realize this consciously. No one wants to help a loser or be friends with them because they have nothing of value to trade. A relationship is essentially giving personality, money, and charisma (for men) in exchange for personality and sex (for women).
That's it! Lads, we can close the channel now. For all future reference, just read this post. He's summed it up exactly. Nice post, wheeldude.
>Good looking and outgoing normie without autism or any disorders does X and gets Y, therefore, he believes the everyone that does X gets Y. The world is not actually so simple, but they don't want to see that, because they need deviants and losers to look down upon.
This is an observation every robot needs to understand
Also
>for not touching grass at right angles
Kek
You're a retard and you missed that user's point entirely because you want to feel good and self righteous.
> for not touching grass at right angles
My sides
>bro you're supposed to do self improvement for your SELF not for others bro
The largest mega 2000 cope of modern. times. The rise popularity of fitness directly correlates with women increasing their requirements for relationships. Just take a look how average guy ooked before pussy was put on pedestal nobody expect select few gave a shit about fitness and looking muscular but nowadays you can see really fit dudes everywhere even stocking shelves in Walmart.
>Life is transactional.
There are transactions in life, but it's not strictly transactional. Economists will tell you that Homo Economicus does not exist, thereby making worthless their whole endeavour.
>You are giving your PERSONALITY in exchange for someone else's personality.
That's not how friendship feels, though, and not how it seems to work in practice. You care for your friend, ultimately because they're a human soul like you. Of course there's shallower layers too. But it's not just a mutual exchange of hours to stave off each others' boredom.
>most people are able to live life without ever having to realize this consciously.
Not quite. Life as an RPG is a metaphor, maybe a working model, but it's not literally true. Most people don't use that model, they have others they get from society etc. If RPG works for you, it may have some value, but don't take it literally, don't mistake map for territory.
>No one wants to help a loser or be friends with them because they have nothing of value to trade.
Just listening to someone has value. Joking around, sharing opinions, giving someone a place in your life. All valuable, and anyone can do it, if they quit expecting to get paid for their efforts somehow, waiting for the payoff to come.
> A relationship is essentially giving
[cut] no! That's really the wrong way of looking at it! It gives no innate value to the individual person, and that's the MOST important part of friendship or relationships! Being valued for who you are, not what you can do for somebody. We all want that, right? So reciprocate, figure it out. Humans naturally like company and getting to know each other. Just need to get past all the bullshit and barriers that loneliness, depression, and atsimu have put up during your youth.
>in exchange for personality and sex (for women).
You're calling all women prostitutes, and all men whoremongers! People don't LIKE being called that!
Its a board for random talk, we can talk about everything we want, we can vent frustrations or talk about other posters.
OP just pointed out the bullshit and normalfags on r9k and your reaction is just "muh crybaby", "not tough enough to play to game", just implying the same things again and again, ignoring completely his points.