Any Forums humor thread

youtube.com/watch?v=MCu2R5FfeDk

i understand the arms, but why make the nose bigger?

Holy shit is that real?

>catfood
nigag what?

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This post yesterday made me lol.

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If you started assaulting an orangutan, do you think he’d fight you? Or do you think they would try to get away? I can imagine chimps of decent size would stick around and rip your face off, gorillas would fight you first, baboons would probably fight you too. But an orangutan? They just seem so dopey

Based autist kek

i re-read this like 20 times and i still don't understand wtf it means
can anyone explain?

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The nurse was hitting on him, but he thought she was asking if he wanted a glass of water

>nurse flirts with him about his height using the colloquial English phrase “tall drink of water”
>user doesn’t get it and responds to the literal words saying he isn’t thirsty
>additional cringe due to thirst being colloquial for horny, so he is shutting her down x2
No cure for autism in current year, try again next time lad

Saying someone is tall is flirting?
you guys are thirsty motherfuckers or turbo manlets who've never been called tall

There's nothing cringe. He was getting a surgery and the girl just said a random comment because they're just sociable people. Of course Any Forums immediately thinks she wanted his dick (because clearly saying you're tall lol equals i want to fuck you). What was he supposed to answer? "yeah, i know, lets fug bitch"?

What a stupid fucking post. And there's nothing funny about it, I'm genuinely confused about why felt the need to save such a crappy post like it was an extremely funny caption

unless he was Brad Pitt your chances of scoring a nurse during surgery are around 0.2%

Now this is autism

>he thinks flirting means she wants your dick
>he doesn’t engage with playful banter with women regularly enough to know the difference
Now THIS is autism

Autists calling autists autistic. Now this is autism/podracing

>After all why not

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Autist calling out autists for calling others autists now this is autism

That fact hasn't stopped me from doing my best for 5 minutes untill the anasthesia kicks in. Never fails to get a laugh. I'm unable to approach women normally, but somehow when I'm halfway drugged and in the most vulnerable spot imaginable I turn into a comedian Johnny bravo. Instinctive coping with the nervousness I guess. Probably helps that I know there's 0% chance of in the situation. I told one of them that if she puts anything up my bum she better leave her number. When I woke up a number was sharpied on my butt, when I called it. It was a Latvian mail order bride agency kekw.

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>Saying someone is tall is flirting?
"A tall drink of water" is not merely a comment on height. Hope that helps.

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Op you retard there was a thread already 10 hours before yours, now we have 2
Learn to use the catalog

>about his height
that saying has nothing to do with actual height. It's "a tall glass of water on a hot day"

Hahaha no way, can I save this one?

That's secretly based

... actually convince me why I shouldn't then
Why shouldn't I take the free ez gainz? Just because society deems it "cAt FoOd" ????? There's a Any Forumsizen that eats goddamned monkey biscuits and he looks damn alright to me.

Fuck it, food is fuel.

>checked

I might be steeling one of my natty catty's fancy feasts today.

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how is "tall glass of water" flirting?
why would you flirt with someone you don't want to fuck?

The texture of thick jelly like and the flavor is very bland, wasnt worth it.

"tall drink of water" is a English idiom which just means someone is tall. She was commenting he is tall and the guy took it literally.

report back on taste

Fuck it. Why isn't there an animal food genny or something at this point? We've been cheated on by the fitness industry for far too long

>doing my best for 5 minutes untill the anasthesia kicks in.
Based

>1 can per 3-1/2 pounds of body weight daily
50 cans per day, bros...Who else Fancy Feast Diet?
>50 cans x 98 kCal/can
4900 kCal/day...This is mad gains bros let's do it

>Eating animal food
>Unironically
What's next? Every lifter in Any Forums gets a fursona? haha... imagine...

I call dibs on an otter

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you ever smell a can of fancy feast?

Yeah, smells like slightly stronger canned tuna.

I imagine a scenario like this sometimes
>There's a huge event putting a pro fighter against a chimpanzee
>Everyone assumes the chimpanzee will easily win but some contrarians bet on the human
>The fight begins and the human gets a good start of the fight
>About 30 seconds in the crowd starts getting quiet
>Its clear the chimp isn't fighting back
>Its wimpering
>the ref stops the fight
>The fighter celebrates for a bit before realizing what he's done
>This chimp was raised as a pet, never to fight
>It never wanted to hurt anyone, just make people smile
And maybe Joe Rogan talks about it on his podcast idk

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Whatever happened to the guy who was making a /fit game to put on steam? i can't remember his YouTube

Why are we shilling cat food

>Nestle
Hell no.

:(

Just eat liver.

Didn't you read the ingredients? It has liver in it.
If I start eating catfood, will I get a catgirl gf?

>Didn't you read the ingredients? It has liver in it.
+random bullshit designed to get cats addicted
Get liver from your butcher. It's gonna be cheaper.

i will never get over the fact the dude has such an outlandishly foreign name (to Americans) like Wikus van der Merwe but the giant shellfish alien is named Christopher. theyre apparently working on a sequel, 100% Wikus decides to actually fuck a prawn

Just buy canned tuna or chicken you autist. The food safety regulations on human food are way stricter than on pet food. It might be functionally the same but is likely low quality meat.

youtube.com/watch?v=qiJyPg6pPVg

No ghouls allowed

Lol he posted today....

He turned it in to some crypto bullshit instead of releasing it on a platform where you could purchase it with fiat currency

Didn't Steam refuse to sell it?

Why would they refuse that?

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I think the claim was because it used swastikas in a positive light.

>...and this is user's room. He's really into fitness.

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You ever hear the sweet sound of a spoon on said can

CAGE MATCH

Cage matches? Yeah, they work. How could they not work? If they didn't work, everybody would still be in the cage.

Steam wont do crypto.

> fookin prawns man.

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Yet

kys grifter

Holy shit kek

kiss my ass, I pray for you no-coiners.

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lost

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CAT FOOD IS TOXIC FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION.

Dog food on the other hand is perfectly safe

Badgerbro reporting in, let's do this Any Forumszoo

Yea, smells like my ex.

lmao I'm low key crypto rich from mining, and I STILL don't believe in that shit, past it giving me money to buy weights and a farm.

Nah, they don't allow blockchain games in the Steam store, the retard thought they would let it, for some unknown reason

no fucking way, is this a real photo?

>... actually convince me why I shouldn't then

Ever heard of prions and prion diseases? One of the reasons they mark that shit as pet food only is because they don't have the same safety rules about keeping prions out of it.

As an aside I saw a video one time about a guy who owned "Granpa Rexs Allen" reputedly one of the oldest cats known to have lived. And I think one of that cat's relatives was also a super old cat.
He claimed Grandpa never ate cat food, he gave it bacon, eggs, coffee etc. The stuff he ate.
It's possible everything that dude said was a lie but it makes me wonder if maybe cats and dogs would live a lot longer if they were never given pet food.
Another reason I think that is my cat had terrible problems eating regular dry food. She had to get the grain free kind or else she would piss blood.

You can get it for free now. The link is in one of castle cliques videos

which one of you retards work at sub?

post the one with greentext ples

I remember trying fancy feast as a kid, wasn't that bad honestly. Kinda like tuna in chicken gravy.

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Kek

This will be Any Forums in a few years

youtu.be/ljoJZzVbHhU?t=155

Autists--nah it's played out