Bmg boymoder general

I have a over time shift tomorrow in a department I haven't worked before, less hours though it's at least not a 12 hr shift, I don't mind my usual shift i work alone and stay hidden in my office usually.
I deleted discord I don't even know why I was just manic or something and depressed, was going to delete everything but im pussy and need some friends even if online

you'd think i'd be used to it after like 5 years of not having friends i see more than once a month but i guess not
i don't even know what i want but i feel like an automaton more than a person. i feel like even if people would be sad if i disappeared or whatever, i don't really matter to anyone. i don't think anyone thinks about me when i'm not there. i'm basically just a machine
sounds rough
deleting everything is a pretty common urge, i think it comes from online interaction not being as fulfilling (subjectively) as real interaction but you usually regret it once you realise there's not really much space for real interaction unless you already have people to interact with

I just like escaping my reality of being disgusting and going online where ppl think im cute, I want to kms

If it's any consolation i think about you when I see bagels lol. Ik what you mean though i always feel like nobody actually likes me even if they spend time with me, idk if that's true or not really and i guess it's kinda crazy to expect everyone to have to prove how much they care but i can't help feeling that way
I like to delete all my socials and uninstall discord and then complain about feeling lonely on Any Forums too its based

>escaping my reality of being disgusting and going online where ppl think im cute
relatable. i get no attention from anyone irl so i post angled pictures of myself on the internet and then feel bad for catfishing everyone into thinking i'm some beautiful delicate girl when in reality i am a dirty freak with bogdanoff features.

I should disappear indefinitely
Idk sometimes I feel okay irl about my appearance this will prob pass for me for a short time im just tired im tired of being dysphoric im exhausted

I deluded myself that I would grow boobs that would make it hard to boymode, but here I am 4 years later still no boobs, still boymoding. Except now everyone thinks I'm in high school (I'm 24). It would probably help if I stopped being anorexic

No you shouldn't sab, bad. Or if you just mean online then i guess that's up to you

Ugh i just had to reschedule my bloods because the queen went and died this is stupid. Idk why everyone is pretending to care

Online, can't sui to many responsibilities

Looking increasingly ugly. Don’t want to work at all today, I’m too tired to

hi whanon how's it going