Chaser Greentext

I miss my trans gf, feeling down today and so I think I'll write out my story, maybe it'll help me feel better, maybe make this board a little more positive

Attached: big boy cat.png (510x427, 177.89K)

> Be me, chaser, 21 in college
> Been attracted to trans girls, femboys, twinks, etc. for as long as I can remember. There's just something so alluring about the feminine androgyny
> Okay high school experience but never really made many friends, just sort of drifted through it, college so far has been about the same
> lonely.jpg
> Cute twink in my engineering statistics class
> He's pretty smart, leads class boardwork but doesn't come off as obnoxious
> God that class was so boring but I watch this cute guy a lot
> Obviously effeminate, I'm thinking he's probably gay, there's no way he isn't already taken
> Too socially awkward to confront him out of the blue
> Skip to an exam day, we finish the test at the same time
> This is my chance,
> Look
> If you had
> One shot
> Or one opportunity
> To seize everything you ever wanted
> In one moment
> Would you capture it
> Or just let it slip?
> My palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
> "Hey dude, how do you think you did?"
> 'I don't know, I think I got at least a B'
> I did not get a B on that test
> "Nice, I don't know if I did that well."
> He said something about how there were still more opportunities for points in the class, I don't remember
> Is walking alongside me on a uni sidewalk
> Isn't actively trying to talk with me but isn't rejecting conversation
> Fuck, if I don't make a move then we're going to split paths and I'll be alone forever
> "So, uh, you seem like a cool guy in class, would you want to grab lunch together?"
> I have failed my mission, there is no hope, is this the best I could come up with
> 'Sure user, where do you live?'
> YES, THERE IS HOPE
> Ate in school dining hall, the food sucked but had a good conversation, get to know him outside of classwork
> He's super interesting, working on an album to release, huge music enthusiast, knows a lot about different subjects

> Seems kind of lonely, doesn't really say much about friends or campus clubs
> He's a year younger than me, sophomore, but comes off as a grad student how he talks about stuff
> I'm just sitting there listening to him tell me about the history of prog rock
> A fellow autist I think
> 'I've got another class to go to now, user, I enjoyed the conversation'
> His smile hath peirced my heart, and I am bound to him by its thread of love
> "We should do this again, we're in the same lecture"
> 'Yeah for sure'
> I have peaked in life

Don't remember exact words but I hope paraphrasing gets the job done. I'll probably finish writing this out over the next several hours.

>twinkhon trans girl in college
>no guy ever approaches me
this thread made me feel a tiny bit less blackpilled, I look forward for your update OP

> We're eating lunch and dinner together every day at this point, occasionally someone will join but it's mostly only us
> Neither of us really had a social life up to this point
> I can understand why I didn't because I was kind of a loser, but he's legitimately interesting and entertaining
> Sometimes we'll go out to a park on the weekends and hike
> Get along really well, it's been a month or two since the stats exam
> Full-blown crush, enjoy spending time around him but it's starting to kill me how bad I want to secure him as mine
> Sometimes it seems like he wants to touch me or get closer to me but I'm not sure
> Bad at advancing relationships but I know I must
> Too afraid of rejection so I decide to ask him if he wants to drink one night so I can confess
Looking back on it, I definitely should have just been honest without any alcohol
> He's up for it though, he's gotten drunk before
> I didn't know that
> Start getting wasted in dorm room, we're watching some godawful F-list movie free on YT, funniest shit
> Movie ends, it's some time around 8PM, darker outside
> He asks me if I want to go walking around town
> Sure

> We walk and talk until we end up at a park bench next to a local baseball diamond
> Spring, so it's a little bit chilly and the park is empty
> This is the moment
> Liquid courage did not prepare me
> But I must
> "I really like you"
> This mf actually responded 'Yeah, I like you too' like it was some sort of just-friends comedy skit, I'm not even joking
> Gets a funny look on his face
> doubletake.wav
> 'Wait, do you mean you like-like me? Are you messing with me?'
> My brain says I should just shut up and play it off but my heart leads me onward- I will be his knight in shining armor, his gallant prince
> I do not feel like a gallant prince but nervousness be damned
> "I love you."
> Most difficult 3 words I have ever said
> He's just sitting there with a blank face but then it starts getting red
> Legitimately the cutest thing I have ever seen up to that point but I didn't have much time to dwell on it in the moment
> Because he's crying now
> Never seen him cry before
> Don't really know what to do
> Woozy and dissociating a little
> Awkwardly try to hug him but it's really stiff and I don't know how to process emotions on the spot like this
> He starts apologizing for crying and it clears up a little
> Hugs back
> 'I want you to know that I feel the same way user'

Glad you're enjoying it, I hope to share some of the happiness.

God I wish that were me wtf

> Head spinning now, ecstatic but confused
> 'But I have to come clean user'
> Oh god what is it
> 'I think I'm trans'
> Cloud 9
> Looks super worried and I realize I haven't said anything since he started crying
> "Shit, sorry, go on"
> He said he'd been wanting to tell me for weeks now but never got the chance
> He should have just told me, I thought I had made it clear through conversation that I had no issue with transgenderism
I realize now that I had been doing the same thing with my feelings for him, weird how reality wraps in on itself like that
> 'I've been trying to get on hormone therapy for months now, but it keeps getting delayed'
> He didn't want to tell me because he hadn't started hormones yet and he didn't feel like he was really trans
> Actually makes me really sad, I like him because of who he is, not because he's a he
> 'I hope you still want to be around me, because I would love to date you'
> He's sort of awkwardly looking up at me with some sort of magical puppy eyes
> My heart
> Fuck it
> I go in for the kiss
> Bliss
> But there's something amiss
> We pull away and he's clenching his fists
> 'I don't think I want to do this right now, user'
> God, I hope he's not pissed
> 'Can we just sit here a little longer? I need to think'
> Fade to black, nothing else happened that night, he said he needed to go home and destress and I was just relieved everything went alright