Well, it's february first, so i think i'm going to kill myself later tonight, just like i promised

well, it's february first, so i think i'm going to kill myself later tonight, just like i promised
if a janny deletes my thread, or sends me a phone number for some shit mental health hotline, i will do it sooner

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Come on user, youre going to die anyway, no need to rush thinfs

but i want too
plus i kinda promised, so now i gotta :/

why tho

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you really wanna disappear like a thread with no replies? be forgotten so quickly?

If I see you make this thread next month and make it this month ill buy you a steam gift card if you wanna. I promise ill uphold my end of the bargain. Or maybe youd like somth like Discord nitro? Actually yeah, you can choose steam game or nitro

lifeline australia is good apparently. my friend likes them atleast.

Sigh. At least eat your favourite food first or something.

nah, you can just promise not to do it, then you don't have to. ez

and if you don't die, maybe things will get better later.

i waited too long troon out, plus i don't even wanna do that because it's gross
my family and friends hate me and barely talk to me because i'm gay
i thought i got into university and i started getting ready to move but then my university said i only got in because of a "server glitch" and i didn't actually get in
i have no money, and no motivation to do anything
i have no friends or family that loves me
i just sit around and do nothing all day and i don't think that's likely to change
everyone that things of me currently hates me, so being forgotten would be preferred
idk man, i've hyped myself up and everything :/
i tried when i was like 17 and i was on hold for hours and then i gave up
i hate eating, but ty for the sentiment

people break promises all the time, no big deal

>univ
>killing yourself when you're still just a kid
cmon now

Get some dick

how long ago was that? they called like a week ago and were done like a hour later so they couldnt have been on hold that long. give it a shot user.

>i waited too long troon out, plus i don't even wanna do that because it's gross
so did I, but I still did okay. i've got a loving boyfriend and a good life. broke asf but happy, finally. i'm really glad i never attempted.

if you're not doing anything yet, maybe it's because you're not ready. It's ok to not be ready.

sorry bout the uni thing. that's heartbreaking. but this just tells me you're still young as fuck. so many years for things to improve, user. you've got so much time.

I don't hate you, I don't even know you, I might like you a lot, but I'll forget this thread tomorrow. You wont get a chance to meet me or anyone else who might love you :[]

idk if i've ever broken a promise in my life
people who break promises hurt me :(
yeah, i'm 19
i think it's kinda better to get out early, i've wanted this since i was like 14
that's gross, being gay is gross
it makes me want to cry
idk why only old people are allowed to kill themselves
and idk, i don't want a partner or anything, idk what i actually want
it strains me to think about
everyone i know irl does hate me, i can't think of anyone i'd want to be remembered by, and i'm probably not gonna meet anyone new since i never go out or do anything ever

and also it's just like, more than just the uni
i was hyping myself up for like months, because that was gonna be my big opportunity to actually do something
but now i'm just doing nothing, like usual
i was supposed to leave in a couple days
idk, i was just mentally crutching on that i think

your life has hardly started at 19, you are only just getting the freedoms and agency to do the things u want. give it some time everything passes

by the way, i don't want to convince you of anything. i know a bunch of anons in this thread think that's the best thing to do, but it always made me feel worse. i'll just respond naturally to what you're saying. i don't have any stake in whether you live or die, except I would be sad if you died. i just want you to know i'm being honest with u

deciding not to kill yourself isn't breaking a promise, user. it doesn't count.

>it strains me to think about
I know the feel, user. sorry about that. if your depression is anything like mine, i know how crushing it can be.

that's pretty awful. i've never been through something that disappointing. i hope your next set of applications goes well, if you go for that. another year of waiting isn't the end of the world - lots of people wait to get into their college of choice.

this was years ago, so maybe they're different now
but still idk, i never trust those people, and if i'm actually suicidal i'll probably get 5150'd
i don't really want anything, and the freedom doesn't really mean anything cause like, idk
it just doesn't feel real or meaningful, i just don't care and i want it to be over with
well i mean like, definitionally if i promise to kms, then don't do it, then i broke my promise :v
but i get what you mean
and like, thinking about another year is crushing, i'm barely thinking about the next couple days, i don't think i could do it
and i don't think i could mentally attach to that idea in the same way i did the first time
idk, ty for the sympathy
i'm sorry you have to go through that :(

every 19 year old feels that way because you're basically a child and your hormones are insane

there's a million suicidal fags in aus lol, they really can't afford to commit them all. unless you're actually attempting during the call they won't 5150 you

i've felt this way for pretty much as long as i can remember
i often wonder if i've ever been really, genuinely happy
although yeah, my hormones are really fucked, only partially related to puberty
i'm going to be attempting in like five and a half hours, i haven't decided yet
and just, idk
i don't like mental health "professionals", they've super fucked me up in the past
throughout my life they've routinely betrayed my trust and made everything worse for me
talking to those "people" has never helped me
i've unironically found talking to anons more valuable