/depressedgen/ staring at the wall edition

I really don't get why the fuck it has to be so hard. Everything sucks, my mental health, my physical health, my finances, my non existent social life. I can't turn the page and move on, I keep living in lala-land and don't listen or grow up. I hate how much of a lazy piece of shit I am. I need to get out of this fucking pit, but every time I try to climb the walls I slip off and fall down to break another of my bones.
I just spend the last few hours screaming internally about my life decisions and failings, wanting to break every object in my room and just generally being filled with hate.

All in all I am having a very shitty night.

How is your day/night going Any Forums?

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I am literally word for word in the same situation. are you dating anyone?

this sounds all-too familiar

Just spent 30 minutes crying in my black void room only to pick up my phone and come here to wrote about it.
Why can't I just kill myself why do people have to care about me

I can't even cut anymore or my partner cries and asks me to talk, I just am a ungreatful asshole who just can't do this shit anymore its pain everyday is pain

Literally word for word living through the same shit OP

Hey, sorry to hear that.
No, I am single since late 2020, I still think about it every day. She was the last thing I could use to numb the pain, and now I am all alone.

this thread is very powerful. You know when so many people have a collective thought, maybe we can go out there and change this reality.

I feel that
Let's start a commune

so who should we go after first. lets start the lgbt guild.

Gay gang

There is no improvement of my mental health, I go to therapy and trauma dump, I take the meds they say will help, I go for stupid walks and have hobbies, I exercise, I have friends and support, nothing helps the fact I see no purpose in me being alive, im a empty vessel just going through time without any reason my life is pointless I have no use if I were dead nothing changes life goes on I'm quite literally the most insignificant thing on this planet a bug being stepped on is a bigger deal then me roping. All I do is bring pain to the people around me

At least you've got friends

My night is weapon grade shit. I’m 18 and at 15-16 I looked like a fully grown man 10 years older than my age. Hrt can’t change my massive rib cage, the Adam’s apple that’s hyper produced. Hrt can’t change my brown genes that curse me to look like a man forever. I don’t have anything really stopping me from roping. I’ve only been on hrt for 7 months but somehow a hondosed 30 year old is better off than I am at 2 months. I’m doomed to be a giga manmoder. I should just rope and make life easier for all trans people. I should be a semi happy midshit but instead my genes are so bad I’m worse off than a boomerhon because they can afford surgical operations. I should be a smug ass youngshit going though college but instead I’m earning min wage at a grocery store 2 steps away from roping.

Yeah that makes wanting to sui so much more better, just makes me that much more of a horrible person

most people have no purpose or significance by just living. its something you probably need to create on your own.

How how do people just live happily knowing they're existence is so fucking useless, also I'm just sick of being dysphoric I punched my mirror today and broke it, so now all my mirros are gone and guess what im still fuxking disgusting

we will do this by drinkgin more water

life is really hard rn, I want to ask for help and get therapy or something but I'm too ashamed and self-hating to ask
I might kill myself soon

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hmm i have no idea really. maybe cause they dont know better. I bet you look cute in someway user.
user no we will do something much bigger.

>Dumb as shit
>6'6
>Masculine every feature
>Poor
>Disfigured from labor shit
I want to die I know rationally there is no better day coming. I'll always be an ugly man what am I waiting for to die alone on a lazyboy. I should kms. Every day another boring dysphoric nothing