You've been asked to create a movie about the Russo-Ukraine war. What story do you tell?

You've been asked to create a movie about the Russo-Ukraine war. What story do you tell?

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Our story begins in a small backroom in Tel Aviv...

unironically Azovstal Steel Works

It begins with a banan and a monke

Well first of all we have to cast half of the Russian high command with people of color. All white men will be too boring; we need pic related as a spunky no nonsense Ukrainian general.

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Russians are not white.

Kevin Hart as Putin

Dark comedy about a bunch of gopnik conscripts going from thinking it's a training excercise to invading a country in a failed blitz. When they outrun their supply lines just sky of Kharkiv, they have to get back with no tanks, no support, and no brains.

>A Father and his daughter

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I'd cast a terrible comedian who becomes a puppet of the west as Zelinski, probably Colbert

Sonic the hedgehog 3 in ukraine

fuck off cracker. I mean actual people of color (which means NEGRO SONS OF YAKUB)

yes, pretty crazy this alleged puppet was a russian-speaking russophile who got mega support in the east.

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VDV ambush around the outskirts of Kyiv

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Make it a comedy about a russian and ukrainian soldier rekindling an old friendship on the battlefield, the russian soldier is the wacky drunk incompetent, the ukrainian is the stoic type. Now in their late fifties, they were both friends in some some backwater soviet factory in the 80s where they got into many hi-jinks and were then sent to afghanistan in 1986. 35 years later they meet again on the battlefields of ukraine as enemies. They decide fuck the war, get pissed up, fuck some whores, then plan to escape their armies and their babushka wives at home, they must pass many obstacles along the way, including hired belarussian ninjas.

i was blown away when I learned what happened with these two

An Airport Too Far

>incompetent chechen goons have entered the chat

>who got mega support in the east
Because the other candidate was a bellicose nationalist, while Zelensky was pro-peace? Who was the East supposed to vote for?

Pro-peace? sounds like a HATO puppet to me.

The chechens would have to be in the plot somewhere too, in some joke about fucking goats and the chechens overhear, the protagonists have to find some goats for the chechens to fuck as compensation or it's them who will get ass fucked.

He walked back on it eventually though, a year before the war maybe

fpbp

in 2016 it was accepted that the euromaidan protests were essentially a NATO coup
now normies pretend to know about the conflict