Israelbros please help me

My dad is Jewish so I qualify for birthright citizenship, but never really considered it since I didn't want to live in some sandnigger shithole. However, I heard that Orthodox Jews in Israel are given NEETBux just for existing. My dad isn't Orthodox, but how feasible would it be for me to LARP as Orthodox, get citizenship, and NEET in Israel?

Attached: 937.jpg (1024x710, 92.66K)

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=LrF1gwF9oWo
twitter.com/AnonBabble

>I heard that Orthodox Jews in Israel are given NEETBux just for existing
They outjewed jews?

even local israelis hate haredim, and the larp wont work unless you speak hebrew or yiddish but you're a dumb amerifat so I doubt

Netanyahu knew they were their only hope to out-breed the Arabs

You can't especially if you're not going to speak Hebrew or be part of the in-group.
Most Israelis want to leave. There are huge communities in Australia.
This. He likely hasn't studied Talmud or done anything to seem knowledgeable on the affairs. By the way as a Haredi you can't do anything on Saturdays - not even touch buttons.

Israel is an expensive place to live as a NEET. Getting NEETbux to study religious texts instead of doing other work is not really 'NEET' in the traditional sense. And as an insincere outsider to the community, you won't even get a young wife to breed.

Are you Jewish, user?

They're probably normalfags though. I stay inside all day anyways so getting Orthodox NEETBux sounds promising.
Can I LARP that I converted to Orthodoxy or some shit as an excuse for not knowing the language? Or does Israel's government/Jews not recognize people converting to Orthodoxy?

>if you're not going to speak Hebrew or be part of the in-group.
Some haredim in Israel mostly speak Yiddish with each other :^)

Most Orthodox Jews are fucking hideous, I would mog them to hell and get all the orthopussy even with one of their retarded haircuts.

Yes I am.
Maybe, I never met any that did but I didn't live in a religious area. Yiddish is pretty much a dead language - the last people in my family to speak it were my great grandparents.

It's very strange, you can talk to a group of them in Hebrew and then one of them leans over to the other and starts talking Yiddish.

>AAAAA GOYS WE NEED OUR OWN COUNTRY
>uhm lol, you really think I will go live in that sandnigger shithole with orthochuds?

Do you appreciate Jew jokes?

Haredim do arranged marriages so you can't get a wife that way. Even my grandparents' marriages were arranged. I'm not sure what your age is but you'll still stick out like a sore thumb in their communities. You'd do better living in an Arab village and marrying there since Arabs don't need to serve (maybe your kids will since they're not full Arab).
Have you spoken to them? I mostly find content in Hebrew for Jewish videos.
youtube.com/watch?v=LrF1gwF9oWo

I have never spoken to a Haredi but I've heard of it and seen examples of it online.

Yeah of course. I made a Holocaust joke when I was a kid with my parents around and got beat up so hard. Most of my Jewish friends are self-conscious so we make these kinds of jokes. Had a friend whose nickname was "penny pincher" and mine was "banker".

I'm autosomally Celtic, but maternally Jewish. I'm just as Jewish as any other Jew, but I'm ineligible for Israeli citizenship.

I'm sure that Jews who identify with their ethnic or religious heritage might want to live there for that reason. But I'm only half ethnically anyways and religiously even my dad is an atheist and his parents non-practicing. Of course I'm not gonna want to live there unless I can get NEETBux.

Pretty sure you won't be able to handle the transition from the modern amerifat lifestyle to the ultraconservative haridi lifestyle, also the NEETbux a single haridi gets from the government isn't enough to live off.

Holyshit this is probably the most Ameritarded thread I've seen in a while
Why do you think that you can manage to larp as an ultra religious person who belongs to a religion you know nothing about and speaks a language you don't understand (best case it's only one language)?