What's the best Simpsons joke/gag/scene to ever exist, ever, for all time? It's also not Sneed

>I'm sorry. I cannot divulge information about that customer's secret, illegal account.
>Oh, crap, I shouldn't have said he was a customer. Oh, crap, I shouldn't have said it was a secret. Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said, that it was illegal! Oh, it's too hot today.

Only who can prevent forest fires?
>Bart presses the "you" button.
You have selected "you," referring to me. That is incorrect. The correct answer is "you."

Bort. It's the best. It's funny and you're not even sure why it's funny. And the callback later in the episode seals it.
It. Is. Bort.

political powers

HELLO MR. THOMPSON

LE GRILLE!?

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT???

>But there's thousands of unsolved murders in New York City!
You don't know when to shut up, do you Saxy boy?

>Hello Marge, I'm Lee Majors

Fuck. Too many to name.
-throwing books in the fireplace (even the writers making a joke about there being a fireplace in the living room in one of the clip shows where it was clearly reused footage)
-maniacal laughter over mundane or out of place things (pic related)
-overlapping incidents (the Kwik-E-Mart “K” smoked landing at the Springfield military base after Skinner had them avert their fire, or the lights flickering in the Simpsons house right after Hans Moleman gets death row in the local jail kek)
- pretty much every single gag in Last Exit to Springfield

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*in the bedroom. Sorry

Zombie Simpsons doesn't count. Fuckin' zoomers.

>Season 5
>Zombie Simpsons
please for the love of god tell me you tagged the wrong person

He’s a troll

>You know when I was a boy I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
>Dad, what's the point of this story?
>I like stories

>4
The joke is that the previous owner of the store is called Chuck so if you replace "Sneed" with "Chuck" you get "Chuck's Feed & Seed".

>Probably misses his old glasses

Worker and Parasite

>you'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel

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Kek

My favorite was when Bart got the church to sing an acid rock song.

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Is it weird that I know he does that 10 times in total (if you count the one on the boat)

So iconic it inspired the sequel series to an iconic Japanese superhero cartoon about a loud kid in an orange jumpsuit.

>I wash myself with a rag on a stick

Maybe not my favorite, but probably the line I repeated the most in real life.

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So fucking good. “Rock and OR roll”

I love that everyone is sweaty from singing the entire 17 minute studio version and that Lovejoy literally doesn’t notice til the end. God damnit what happened to the writing on this show

I particularly enjoy the elderly keyboardist keeping up flawlessly and then passing out on the last note

Came here to post this.

>It was, Marge, admit it.

Is Burns funnier when he's evil or when he's at least marginally benevolent? For some reason his character in King Size Homer teaching calisthenics is the funniest shit to me, maybe because it's his first big appearance after trying to block out the sun.

Burns is just the most consistently funny character on the show.

It's a funny scene, but it really hurts the joke that Bart's "cool '90s rebellious kid" schtick uses a song that was already incredibly dated at the time. It's such a dorky out-of-touch idea of youth culture.

Would've been better if Homer was pulling the prank, since he's a boomer who would've actually known that music.

>They don’t call me Springfield Fats just because I’m morbidly obese!

He's definitely funnier when he's more grounded.
Even in "Who Shot Mr Burns," everyone is appalled and recognizes that he's gone too far. It's not like the more recent seasons where the other characters are used to him acting like a supervillain.

>Is Burns funnier when he's evil or when he's at least marginally benevolent?
For me, it's when he's not specifically evil, but rather just callous or indifferent like he doesn't quite "get" poor people or young(er) people.

LET'S GET BIZZAY

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Tbf they specifically wanted to get away from the 90s “radical” Bart by the 5th season, when the show became more self-aware and took a different approach on character jokes, and they didn’t want The Simpsons to just be the Bart Show. I mean there’s no real reason Bart or Milhouse should know who the fuck Mickey Rooney is either, but that’s the joke.

>heyyyy, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs medical college too??

Not necessarily. Kids grow up listening to the music that their parents play and we know from the scene that Homer and Marge know the song well. Bart's selection of the song can be written up as an incredibly long song that isn't appropriate for a church congregation.

>I call the big one Bitey

60s music was still incredibly popular with youth in the 90s, it was part of that whole kind of resurgent rock scene at the time. It's why so many of the grunge and punk bands from the era covered 60s music, there was a whole retro wave in the 90s focused around that decade. It fits Bart pretty well honestly.

This is the funniest opening in the entire show
youtu.be/9Z1Hl67fNt0

Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan and lraq... and I can say without hyperbole... that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.

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Nah that makes sense, he could have heard it from his parents or otherwise just been into older bands. That was still really common back then for kids to actively listen to older rock groups.

I'd say it still works because it's an extremely elaborate prank that requires alot of prep time, and tons of little details that you'd miss if you blinked. For being in Lisa's shadow mentally, Bart can be pretty damn smart.

Perfect episode. And Phil Hartman at his finest.

>Dad, We did something very bad.
>Did you wreck the car?
>No
>Did you raise the dead?
>Yes!
>But the car's ok?
>Uh-huh
>All right then

It's the mark of a true professional. It actually sounded really good being covered by a pipe organ.

I like the Mr. Plow rap

Bart’s incredibly smart, he’s just lazy about school, and honestly I identified with him more than Lisa because public school was so transparently bullcrap and built around pointless standardization in the 90s (don’t know how it is now). There’s even a joke during the PTA Disbands that Lisa herself makes about the lack of rigidity and standardized testing making her restless and anxious, in contrast to Bart who’s stoked. However he’s been shown over and over again to be a good independent learner and problem solver, which is probably how he finally becomes Chief Justice of the Supreme Court

Not as good as the Rappin Ronnie rap

>built around pointless standardization in the 90s (don’t know how it is now)
Schools have recently pushed to abandon Common Core. But the fact that it ever existed should tell you.

“GIVE ME A RIDE OR EVERYBODY DIES”

Apu do you have that beer with candy floating on it? You know skittlebrau?

>the joke that changed an entire generation of hispanics

My friend has a tattoo of this

The early seasons could be so real. Back then it was kind of a big deal that family members were so harsh to each other, even if as a joke.

reminder that the pianist from gattaca was so obsessed with this joke he created a cinematic universe based on it

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Also desperate and selfless homer is a million times funnier than sociopath homer.

>Ride if the Valkyries interrupted
>WATERLOO, COULDNT ESCAPE IF I WANTED TO!

>How's your wife, uh, Nancy?
>Betty!
>WHO CARES?

>Homer: 'That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets, but I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away.'

>Marge: 'She's not afraid of bunnies.'

>Homer: 'She will be.'

That Homer fucked someone that wasn't his wife and loved it.

We've covered a lot of funny shit, but what about scenes that automatically make you cry or get you in the feels? Doesn't have to be sad, can just be touching. Getting this one out of the way so it's hard mode.

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The Simpsons Bart and Lisa Plays Bonk it Twist it Scene
youtube.com/watch?v=yxzpz5XkUSg

What's the matter with you. That clip took 10 years off my life.

>"It does seem that the father of the deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson, filled out the pageant application incorrectly.
>"In the area under 'do not write in this space' he wrote 'Okay.'"

This line fucking kills me every time.

Third party stuff involving Homer is always gold. The love letter postcard to Marge is one of my favorites.

Homer trying to kill himself in season 1 is pretty messed up. I remember being moved by Homer's realization that he destroyed his son's piggybank for a couple cents to buy beer.

>Batmans' a scientist

Which episode is that?
I haven't watched season 1 yet

Sneed was never funny and anyone who keeps that stupid meme alive needs to chug motor oil.

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Choo choos chug motor oil. What do you have against choo choos?

A choo choo is also smarter than anyone that thinks Sneed is still funny.

“Homer’s Odyssey” which is one of the handful of “canon for arch” moments of the series, because it’s when Homer gets promoter to safety inspector at the plant. Also the scene where he grabs his family out of the way of the oncoming car is really beautifully animated. You can see what scenes the really pained over in the first two seasons

Marge be not Proud

>>A la grande le puse cuca

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youtu.be/wBl6M_WgwnI?t=75

Why didn’t they leave it in, Any Forums?
youtu.be/9pOFV1JnMPo

The official scene is a lot better
>"He locked the Door!"

The writers didn't think it was that funny.

>Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?!

Did anyone else think Race Banyon was an actual astronaut when they were kids? Or am I the only retard.

IMHO: best visual gag is in Homer Goes to Clown College when the wheel goes off his krustified sedan and he squeals straight into the tree on Milhouse's lawn. You can clearly see his stationary silhouette as the car comes to a halt and then he flies out through the windshield at 0 mph. Perfect fucking timing.

Perfect situational delivery: Cape Feare when Bart is running back and forth from crocodile to electric eels then back to that same exact crocodile animation and just kind of disinterestedly goes "oh yeah". Like he forgot he just saw that croc.

ZIS EXHIBIT IS CLOSED
Contenders

No joke, when the headmaster of my high school retired one of the boys played him out at the end of his final school assembly with "Garden of Eden"

>Hello,Jerry? Homer Simpson. Remember last month when I paid back that loan? Well, now I need you to do a favor for me.

I assumed they just didn’t want to do anymore Terminator 2 jokes

That episode always brings me down. The ending is great catharsis, but it’s pretty much a downer. I hate most episodes of anything set around Christmas as it is so it’s even more a bad taste in my mouth.

>Bigger Brother employee: And what are your reasons for wanting a little brother?
>Homer's brain: Don't say revenge, don't say revenge!
>Homer: Eh... revenge?
>Homer's brain: That's it, I'm gettin' outta here! [sounds of someone walking down stairs and slamming a door.]
>Checklist: Revenge.

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For sheer simplicity and delivery:
>Don't touch Willie. Good advice.

Ha. Beat me to it.

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>Oop! Lost a nail. Well, that’s leprosy for you.

The Peanut one is also fucking gold.

>This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin.
>And it still says guilty!
>And guilty is spelled wrong.
Close second choice for me would be Bart working the door at the burlesque house.

Aurora Borealis!

This is one of my favorite scenes in the show and it hinges on Mr. Burns considering himself less evil than lawyers

Honestly any joke that ends with any character walking away with tires screeching away always has me in stitches.

It also has some of the worst animation in the show. It was the first episode produced but the animation quality was so shitty they had to send it back to fix the worst looking scenes and the premiere was pushed back, leaving Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire as the new first episode as the Christmas season lined up perfectly.

You're thinking of "Some Enchanted Evening"

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You very well could be right. But Homer's Odyssey has some weird animation too.

This scene always gives me a chuckle
youtube.com/watch?v=ZO_85EmH84A

Simpson eh? New cartoon?

youtube.com/watch?v=uO3ZEgv613k

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>Quick! We have to kill the boy!
>How'd you know he was a vampire?
>He's a vampire? AHHH
Maybe not the best ever but it still gets a chuckle out of me every time.

>the funniest thing you'll ever say and nobody was around to hear it

>Flanders: Ya know, most people don't know the difference between apple CIDER and apple JUICE, but I do! Now here's a little trick to help you remember: If it's clear and yella, you've got juice there fella! If it's tangy and brown, you're in cider town!
>Flanders: Now, there's two exceptions, and it gets kinda tricky here: Adirondacks CAN be yellow if you're using late-season apples...
>Homer's brain, meanwhile: Ohhh! You can stay, but I'm leaving!
>*Slide whistle noise*
>Flanders, still: And, of course, in Canada, the whole things flip-flopped!
>*Thud!*
I love those Homer's Brain gags.

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