Who the fuck actually listens to Electro Swing unironically?

Who the fuck actually listens to Electro Swing unironically?

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My autistic brother, and me before I grew out of it.

Classy gentlemen

Gentle sirs who mayhaps inquire for a spot of pussy

Physical reaction. The one genre that sends me into a rage. I love swing and this cyber hell concoction is peak obnoxious. Garish, obtrusive. God, I hate it.

my gf took me to a electro swing night at the Winchester in Bournemouth a few years ago

i've met some pretty abrasive and aggressive people at dances, and you just have to take the rough with the smooth, but fucking hell, I've never been faced with such a group of out of place, weekend warrior, straight edge, awkward, overly dressed, unable to dance weirdo's as i have at that electro swing night.

Most of them had no clue how to behave on the dancefloor, and only those with the right combination of autism and alcohol were brave enough to actually dance. 70% of the men went for the classic, awkward, "I dont know what to do here" so they just stood around the edge of the floor and watched like 5 people dance while fumbling between holding an overly priced craft ale and taking photos of each other's fucking plastic honeycomb weather effect goggles while just sort of swaying from side to side.

The highlight of the night was at about 1am, when the sir's and madam's had all but used up the tiny amount of stamina they had and were trying their best to keep in high spirits, me and my gf were out front talking to another couple when out of an honest to god piss and sick soaked bush stumbles a 30 something year old pic related in a way only a drunken teenager would. The bouncer see's this happen and asks what he was doing in the bush. The steamlord slurs something along the lines of:

>I was taking a moment to enjoy my pipe in your lovely bush, good sir

>Pipe?

>Yes my pipe, would you like to have a go my old friend?

And the steamy boy holds his soaked hand out in a gesture of complete obliviousness

In the same motion, the bouncer smacks the outstretched hand downwards and stomps on the object that was being offered to him.

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Wow. And I thought I was autistic as fuck. Plus, Electro swing is PLAGUED by furfags. Why do furries have such shit taste?

Your dad must be on the verge of family suicide

>continued

The steam-boy stumbles backward and throws his arms up in confusion and in a voice cracked, posh pissed rage

>What the hell man?!

The bouncer takes a step towards him

>We dont have junkies in here mate I think it's your home time

At this moment a obnoxiously posh, massively overweight fem-steam stumbles out the door and pushes past the bouncers

>Archie no dont he's not worth it

And grabs the steam-boy by the strap thing on the back of his sick encrusted waistcoat and attempts to pull him away.

The strap breaks and steamy steve falls nose first onto the bouncers rock hard and stubbled chin, in the commotion the bouncer swung a right out of reflex and conked steamo's now fucked nose again on the way down

The girl then screeches and helps him to his feet and they begin to scream profanities at the bouncers while clutching steamy's sam's shattered nose.

The second bouncer just calmly ushers them away and advised them to call an ambulance, and they stumble of, jangling and steaming, into the night.

Then we went inside, me and the mrs had a bump of coke, and fucked in the ladies'

I cant say im in a rush to ever go to another electro swing dance but fuck, Archie mate, if your out there: you're a fucking mug mate

samefagging. Remembered it wasn't the Winchester, it was Chaplin's.

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